Break Free from Phone Addiction: How Moms Can Take Back Control
How are you feeling about the amount of time you’re spending on your phone? If you’re anything like me, you may feel a bit out of control about your phone. In fact, I was feeling so concerned with the amount of time I spent on my phone, I went about trying to figure out how much of my overall life was tech time.
If you listened in to the episode and you want to learn your number too, here are the steps:
- Go to the settings app on your phone.
- Scroll down and click on “Screen Time”
- Note your daily average. (do this kindly! I didn’t like my number either!)
- Go to this site to see what this means for your lifetime screen use.
And then listen in to this week’s podcast episode where I give you tactical tips and strategies to reduce your (and your kids) screen time so we don’t look back and wonder why we thought spending so much time on our screens was how to spend our lives. Ick!
Shame Free Change:
In order for this shift to stick, we have to do it without shame. You aren’t broken and you most likely haven’t been doing anything wrong. Rather, you have a human brain that tech companies are pouring billions (with a B!) of dollars into research to study how to best get you addicted. Seriously, if we’re just going along in the normal way that humans do, without getting intentional like I speak of in the episode, the phone wins. Not because you’re a dummy. Rather because you’re one brain against many!
This also isn’t about vilifying our phone or going on some abstinence detox. Our phones and technology aren’t the enemy. I love my phone. I love Face Timing my kids, listening to podcasts, and sending voice messages to my friends. It’s about being aware that when we’re living unintentionally, we give our power away. These tools are designed to be addictive. The same psychology used to design slot machines is used to design your favorite apps. Yet, unlike casinos, this industry isn’t regulated.
Cell Use, Tech Addiction and Kids:
This week’s episode will help you when it comes to parenting too. The current trend in parenting is to overprotect our kids in the real world and under-protect them in the online one.
Most of us hover over their homework but hand them full access to the internet without limits or training. We know a lot about how they’re spending their day at school and in extra curriculars yet know very little about how they’re spending their time online. Maybe we take them off devices only when they’re melting down and wonder why their self-regulation is struggling.
Breaking Screen Addiction is Simple
Here’s the truth: breaking screen addiction is simple. Not easy but simple. All we need to do is decide for ourselves and our families what role we want phones and tech to play in our lives, make a plan, stick to the plan. (us too mama!) Because they’re watching us. No matter their age, they watch where we keep our phones when we sleep. They watch when we grab our phones right after we told them we’re too busy to play that game with them. They know if we’re really listening or if we’re half listening as we hold our phone and wait for their mouths to stop moving.
And since breaking free from phone and tech addiction is simple, it is not easy. I want you to be motivated enough to do it. For you and them. If you think about it, one of the kindest things you can do as a parent is to raise them so that they don’t have an addiction to screens. Lucky for you that we can do that by having guidelines around tech for our kids. Listen in to last week’s episode for support in setting boundaries when our kids push back (because they will). Today please know that one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your kids is to take back control from the engineers who profit from your distracted mind.
How to Break Free from Phone Addiction
Step 1: Make a Plan
Just like you might pre-plan your meals or workouts, pre-plan your phone use.
Ask yourself:
- When do I want to be on my phone tomorrow?
- What will I do on my phone at that time?
- Write it down. Get specific. The more specific you are, the faster you’ll break your addiction.
Step 2: Be a Detective
Notice when your brain tries to veer off-plan. Is it at 3pm when you’re low on energy? After dinner when you’re bored? During kid conflict?
Notice. Don’t judge. Please remember, this is a no-shame zone.
Step 3: Plan Again
Seriously it’s this simple. Make a plan. Look at whether you followed your plan or not. Learn from why you did or didn’t. Adjust and plan again. If you do this for the next 6 days (make a plan at night, follow or don’t follow the plan, learn and make a new plan the next night) your life will change. I promise you.
Helpful Tips
I shared more helpful tips in the Love Your Life Show episode but here are a couple to make it easier for you:
-Get in the habit of putting your phone in a drawer when you’re not using it.
-Store your phones outside of the bedroom for sleep.
-Think of times when you reflexively grab your phone and choose to do differently this week (in line, in the bathroom, while eating, etc…)
Choose Your Hard
The best things in life come from delaying short term gratification so that we can feel long term ease. Coming up with a cell plan isn’t easy. Resisting your urges to get on your phone instead of letting your child brain have it’s way and go on it whenever it wants, isn’t easy. Which is why they’re so addictive. Addictions try to convince you that that short term reward is worth more than the long term gain. It’s not, dear one. I promise you.
I ran the formula above and found out that I was spending a month a year on my phone, which equaled 7.5 years of my life!! Oh no! This is your one precious life, and you get to decide how you spend it.
This month in the Love Your Life School, we’re aligning our schedules with our values. We’re reworking how we spend our time so we feel more energized, less drained, and more alive. If that sounds good to you, come join us.
You are strong enough for this. I am strong enough for this. Let’s cheer each other on! Us versus big tech 🙌🏾 Yahoo! I’m in, are you? The Love Your Life School
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