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Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

(Here’s What That Could Mean — and Why It Matters)

-If you’ve ever felt responsible for your parent’s happiness…

-When your kid disagrees with what you think they should be doing, you feel anxious, angry, or upset.
-If you were the “emotional support” for a parent growing up…

-When your partner thinks you “did something wrong”, you can’t rest until they “see it your way” and “understand”…

-If you now find it hard to say no, set boundaries, or speak up in your adult relationships…

You might be experiencing enmeshment — and you’re so not alone.

What Is Enmeshment?

This week on the Love Your Life Show, I sat down with Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, to break down this powerful concept.

Enmeshment is a type of relationship pattern where personal boundaries become blurry. We can start to feel overly responsible for someone else’s emotions — especially when it’s modeled in childhood. Dr. Kate explains how this dynamic can feel like love or closeness, but underneath, it often leads to disconnection from our own needs, identity, and peace.

Closeness vs. Enmeshment

We dove into one of the most common questions I hear from moms:
“What’s the difference between being close with my kids and being enmeshed?”

Dr. Kate offered some real talk on this that I think will be very helpful to listeners. She shared how oversharing, guilt trips, and emotional reliance can sneak into even the most loving relationships. Furthermore, she gave examples of what healthy emotional connection looks like, and how to rebuild it at any stage.

How Enmeshment Shows Up in Your Life Now

How do you know if enmeshment is still playing out in your life? Does it feel hard to make a decision without feeling guilty? Do you put other people’s needs ahead of your own…even sometimes with people you don’t know very well? Maybe your parents are in their 70s or 80s and you still feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them. Or are you still their emotional caretaker as they age? Like if they’re lonely, you feel like it’s your problem to fix?

These aren’t just “family dynamics”.

These are all signs of possible enmeshment patterns and enmeshment trauma. The good news is that they’re patterns you can shift. You can unlearn them by taking some of the steps Dr. Kate shared in episode 378 of the Love Your Life Show. These are all signs of possible enmeshment patterns. And the good news? They’re patterns you can shift.

Healing is Possible — At Any Stage

One of my favorite moments in this conversation was when Dr. Kate shared that healing doesn’t mean blaming yourself or your parents. Rather, it means becoming aware and choosing something different.

Whether you were the child who had to take care of your parents… Or the parent realizing you may have leaned a little too much on your child… She offered so many ways that we can change, grow, and have healthier connections.

Want Help Putting This Into Practice?

That’s exactly what we do inside the Love Your Life School. One of the things that came up repeatedly in this conversation with Dr. Kate is the importance of having a group that reinforces non-enmeshment style thinking and behaving. When we’re breaking these patterns it’s so important to have support because change feels hard. And for those of us who were enmeshed, it can feel unsafe.

In the Love Your Life School we offer that safety while taking the things Dr. Kate talked about to practice them in real life. Things like setting boundaries, practicing emotional responsibility, and separating our worth from others’ moods.

If you’re ready to break your enmeshment and enmeshment trauma patterns, the school is here for you. 👉 Learn more and join us at http://TheLoveYourLifeSchool.com