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How to Communicate with Narcissists and Emotionally Immature People

If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling completely drained, second-guessing your words, or wondering “Was that my fault?”, you’re not alone. Learning how to deal with emotionally immature people requires specific techniques that protect your wellbeing while maintaining your boundaries.

Many of us have people in our lives—parents, partners, coworkers—who seem impossible to talk to. Unfortunately, every conversation turns into a power struggle. Despite your efforts to be kind and clear, somehow you still end up feeling bad when dealing with emotionally immature people.

Here’s the good news: There are ways to protect your peace and energy while communicating with emotionally immature or narcissistic people. Therefore, let’s talk about four powerful tools that can help you effectively deal with emotionally immature people in your life.

If you want to hear specific examples of how this may show up in your life as a mom, daughter, or friend, listen in to the latest Love Your Life Show podcast episode here.

 

4 Powerful Techniques to Deal with Emotionally Immature People

Use the Grey Rock Technique

Emotionally immature people feed on your emotional reactions. In fact, they want you to get upset, to defend, to explain, to over-function. Consequently, when dealing with emotionally immature people, giving them an emotional reaction only fuels their behavior.

The Grey Rock Technique is about becoming emotionally uninteresting. As a result, you stay calm, keep your answers brief, and avoid reacting emotionally.

What this looks like when dealing with emotionally immature people:

• “Okay.”
• “Thanks for letting me know.”
• “Noted.”

When implementing this approach, you’re not inviting debate. Additionally, you’re preventing escalation. In essence, you transform into something as unremarkable as a grey rock on the beach, thereby staying grounded while protecting your inner peace.

 

Avoid Going D.E.E.P.

One of the most effective tools I teach inside my Love Your Life School is the DEEP method: what not to do.

Don’t:

• Defend your choices
• Engage in circular arguments
• Explain yourself
• Personalize their behavior

If someone is emotionally immature or narcissistic, they’re typically not interested in understanding you. As a result, defending and explaining only gives them more to twist. Moreover, personalizing their behavior often leads to feeling terrible about yourself. In this past episode of the Love Your Life show I give even more examples of how to stay out of defensiveness (or what to do when others are defensive with you.) Listen to that on Apple Podcasts here.

Reminder: Their behavior is about them, not you.

 

Use the Broken Record Technique

Emotionally immature people love to argue. If one tactic doesn’t work, they’ll come at you with another. That’s why having one clear statement and calmly repeating it is so effective.

Examples:

• “I won’t be going to that dinner.”
• “Meeting at that time doesn’t work for me.”
• “I’m not open to discussing this further.”
• “If you continue to comment on my weight / food choices, I’m going to leave the room”

After making your statement, simply repeat it. Maintain a calm tone. Keep your words kind. Continue repeating as necessary.

The technique isn’t about being stubborn—it’s protective. There’s no need to convince someone who isn’t listening. Standing in your truth when dealing with emotionally immature people is what matters.

 

Try BIFF Communication with Emotionally Immature People

This tool is especially helpful in writing—texts, emails, even DMs. It helps you say what you need without opening the door to more drama.

BIFF stands for:

• Brief
• Informative
• Formal
• Firm

Example: “Thanks for your message. I won’t be attending. Wishing you well.”

That’s it. No explaining. No back-and-forth. You’re calm, kind, and clear.

 

🌱 You’re Allowed to Protect Your Peace When Dealing with Emotionally Immature People

You don’t need to fix, explain, or prove yourself to anyone. Especially not someone committed to misunderstanding you.

These tools dealing with emotionally immature people aren’t about changing the other person—they’re about protecting you. Your energy. Your worth. Your inner calm.

If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. I teach these tools and more inside the Love Your Life School—because learning how to handle difficult relationships is a life-changer.

 

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You are never as alone as you feel.