How To Feel More In Control

When I feel overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious, I just want to feel more in control. These last two years have really been a test for us humans as we feel out of control. So much of what we thought was unchangeable or could never happen, changed, or happened. Subsequently, we feel out of control.

Furthermore, when we feel out of control, we tend to act more on auto-pilot. Our brains has a motivational triad and likes doing the same thing over and over. This can look like us putting our head down and moving through life without much thought, without much intention.

Unfortunately, unintentional or mindless living amplifies the feeling of stress and anxiety. How bout that? Our internal response to stress creates more stress? When we feel things are out of control, we get more out of control by not planning or being intentional.

Three Steps to Less Stress, Overwhelm, and Anxiety

Undoubtably there is a lot in life that we can’t control. Nevertheless, there are three things we can do to feel more in control. In this week’s episode as I explain the three steps to feel more in control which fortunately lead to feeling less stress, overwhelm or anxiety. Listen in to the episode or click the link below for specifics on how to use these three steps to feel more in control. 

1. Brain Dumpthought model, think feel act, emotional intelligence, how to feel more in control

Set a timer for five minutes, grab a pen and start writing the answer to the question: what am I thinking? Your intent is to dump your brain out. To bring consciousness to the unconsciousness. Especially those thoughts circulating in your brain that are causing the overwhelm, stress, and anxiety.

When we are unconsciously thinking thoughts that generate our feelings, those thoughts and feelings have power over us. We are giving them control. When we bring consciousness to those thoughts, even unhelpful ones, we take our control back. Hence, a fundamental step on how to feel more in control!

2) Future Self

Once you have your brain cleansed, it’s primed to be put to good use. Using the future self tool is an excellent choice to help you feel more in control. Here is a link to my full episode on the Future Self to supplement the explanation in this week’s episode.your future self, 2021, goals, beliefs, how to feel more in control

Essentially you are trying to imagine your best self at a future time without your limiting beliefs getting involved. Picturing your future self is one surefire way to feel more in control. Along with reminding you that you have agency in your life, it allows you to brainstorm a future different than your past. Without a doubt an important activity to banish overwhelm, stress, and anxiety.

3. Schedule

Finally, the third way to feel more in control is to get out a paper calendar. Yes, I said paper. Here is a link to a blank November and December calendar. In order to feel more in control, get as many of the actions on your brain dump on to the calendar at a specific time. The more specific you get, the better you will feel. Furthermore, the more specific you get with when you will do something, the more likely you are to get those things done. 

Living a Life You Love

Living a life you love is all about feeling more in control of your days, even when the uncontrollable is happening. What is worrying you? Stressing you out? Overwhelming you? Step one: dump it out. Next, channel your future self. Finally, take that visualization and make it reality by writing it down on a schedule. Without a doubt you’ll feel more in control.  The outstanding side effect is, you’ll also be living a life more in alignment with your values and desires.

Speaking of: Do you have a life coach? How often do you spend time thinking about the life you’re living? Are you aware that the dreams and desires that you have are placed in you as guideposts to discover the life you’re here to live? They are unique to you. Pushing them away or discrediting them not only feels bad, it is also moving you out of alignment with the reason you’re here on this earth.

Having a life coach helps and I’d love to be yours. I couldn’t have gotten where I am today without the help of my life coach. She helped me identify the thoughts that were holding me in the past so that I could launch into my best future. I have a group program that’s open right now. This is a magnificent time of year to reflect on the past year you’ve lived and where you want to go in the future. Why not make this next year different? Let’s go warrior. You matter to me.

what are you tolerating, midlife coach