Hi, this is the Love Your Life Show with Susie Pettit, certified life and wellness coach. Join Susie as she helps you with your wellness and mindset so you can live a life you love. Let’s go Warriors.

Hello Warriors and welcome to episode four hundred and four of the Love Your Life Show. I am Susie Pettit, your certified life relationship and wellness coach. I’m really focusing on the wellness this episode as I talk about five things that I started and five things that I stopped in perimenopause and in my midlife that have made all the difference. And I’m here to encourage you to do them also because it’s super exciting.

What I have found is that like ninety five percent of the reason that we feel tired and anxious or behind in life and all this, it’s not the stuff that we think it is. Like we just are very prone to be like, oh, it’s my fault. It’s my lack of willpower. It’s or it’s these things. But actually, you guys, it’s these little things that make a big difference. Tiny daily decisions that are either quietly draining you or quietly building you up. And today, I want to share five things that I started in perimenopause and five things I stopped. They make all the difference that if you start or stop them too, they will make a massive difference in your life.

We’re five months into the year now. Well, four and if you’re listening this the day it comes out, four months, twenty nine days. The year is still young. We have lots of time. You start any of these, your life will be different in four months from now, right? This is not about overhauling your life or becoming a completely different person. This is about the small, doable things other people in your life might not even know. Like they’re like, wait, you changed something? Okay, so I want you to feel the excitement in my voice, to feel uplifted and hopeful listening to this. Because you can do these things. You really can.

Let’s start with super small and easy first: sunblock daily. No question. Just do it. Arms, face, hands. Anything that sees the sun. Maybe you are a smart little warrior listener and you started this when you were twenty. I did not, I drew the line in the sand when I was fifty. I was like, okay, enough, Susie. I would put it on before I was going to the beach or whatever, for sure. But now it’s like a daily thing, okay, we spend or I do at least spend so much time thinking about serums and creams and sun protection is anti aging, inflammation, inflammation, reducing, skin saving future. You loving habit that doesn’t take that much time. Draw a line in the sand. Be like, okay, that’s just something I’m going to start now. Easy, easy.

Second easy daily thing: floss your teeth. This one surprised me. I have been flossing probably since my twenties, but not until I had my heart surgery did I understand what a big deal it was and what a critical longevity tool it was. Okay, there are studies that say that not flossing can double your risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. When we allow oral bacteria bacteria to be in that part of our teeth, it can travel to the brain. And as I mentioned with my heart, it’s directly connected to heart health. All right. I doubled down on flossing. I definitely flossed every day. Like I can’t actually deal when I don’t. But I also reduced—I increased my messaging to my kids about the importance of daily flossing, because study after study shows that it reduces chronic inflammation linked to heart attacks and strokes. It’s not just about how my teeth hurt—teeth look. Sorry. My teeth don’t hurt. All right, you don’t need to tell me that twice. Sunblock, flossing. Go for it. I care about my future brain. I care about my future heart. I care about my skin and all of that. Great.

Third thing: move your body every day, right? Exercise is highlighted as the single best way to decrease inflammation. It outperforms prescription medication for mild anxiety and depression every single time. If our doctors, instead of handing us a script for a pill, said, “You go out there and move your body for four minutes,” they would be writing a lot less scripts, which would mean that the pharmaceutical industry would be a lot less rich. So they aren’t doing that. But we can, because you’re listening to Love Your Life Show. Just four minutes of movement daily can decrease your cancer risk by thirty two percent—thirty two percent. Okay. Get out there and move.

So those are three things I started: sunblock, flossing. Move your body every day. I already was moving my body every day, but I just—I’m encouraging you to.

Here’s the first thing I stopped. I stopped thinking exercise had to feel painful for it to be beneficial, so I stopped the no pain, no gain exercise. I stopped cardio just to burn calories. Thinking a calorie is a calorie is a calorie—it’s not in midlife. I stopped thinking I needed to be dripping in sweat for my workout to count. I learned a whole bunch of things that I won’t go into this episode, but often that’s counterproductive for us. It actually can increase or it increases our body’s holding on to fat when we’re—when we’re working too hard, when we’re doing the stuff that the, the men influencers are out there are telling us to do, like the ice baths and the just push it till you can’t breathe anymore, right? I used to do this all the time. I was such an example of this.

And yet about a year ago, I stopped high intensity, hard workouts, and I stopped long distance running in favor of heavy lifting and walking. And I gotta tell you, it’s been fascinating to me. I thought I was just—it’s something that I did for my heart health, stopped the running, but now I’m so much less puffy, I’m so much less inflamed. And I don’t have my, my overuse injuries that I used to have. Like my back feels better, my hip feels better, my all these things. Walking and strength training have made my body really happy. So in perimenopause, in midlife, our nervous systems and hormones are already navigating so much we do not need to layer punishing exercise on top of that move daily. Yes. Thumbs up. Punish yourself with your exercise. No?

Okay, fourth thing to start: read. Be the type of person who always has a fiction book going. Carry a book in your purse for waiting rooms instead of going to your phone. Get excited to read before bed. Decide to be the type of person who reads, who gets lost in a story, who gets so excited we can get lost in our Instagram scroll. We can get lost in our our Facebook scroll. We can get lost on the, on the, um, TV and all that. And there are so many things there that are negative that I don’t need to speak about. But when we get lost in a fiction book, there’s no negative side. None.

And there are so many good books out there. Warriors, I have a whole list of books. Other women, just like you were reading right now, I keep it. I have an Amazon page and I have that list. I’ll put it in the show notes for you. And if you’re reading a good book, always send it over to me because I love adding to that. And so this isn’t about like, you should read more. It’d be good for, you know, it’s because it’s, it like, it’s just so helpful for when you’re reading of all the things that you’re not doing, first of all.

And also, I do want to mention here, since screens are so addictive, reading is—reading gets our focus back when you have to keep your attention on a page of fiction. Okay, your attention needs to be on that page. Whereas when we’re scrolling through Instagram, we’re like, it’s a new hit every second or every seven seconds. So if you want to feel less fragmented, less distracted, less ADHD like in your life—and I say that with love because I have ADHD. But if you want—if you want to feel less, all those things in your life, start reading non-fiction. Become a woman who reads.

Okay, fifth thing to—to do is improve sleep quality. But I even feel like saying that is really not fair. Okay? And because sleep in midlife and perimenopause can feel very elusive, like I feel like I do all the things I do, all the things people have been talking about and yeah, all, all of it. So I’m not here to shame you because there’s a lot going on hormonally that we can’t control.

But what I find is that the things that we can do that—that we can control, often of us, we are not doing them. So there are two super small things that have super big impacts on our sleep. One: looking at our phone too close to bed and two: eating too close to bed. All right. Research says to stop both three hours before bed. Warriors, I’m just here asking you for an hour. How about you put your phone away an hour before bed? How about you stop eating an hour before bed? These will help you so much. Long term gain and longevity. Stop eating and stop looking at your phone at least an hour before bed.

You could decide today with eating. It could be super simple. You could just be like, “You know what? I’m done eating after dinner. I’m just done.” And then you know what? Bonus points: aim to eat dinner before seven. And I’m so excited if you can hear that. Because you know why. If you stop eating at seven p.m. and wait until eating seven a.m. the next morning, you’re giving yourself a gentle twelve hour fasting window, which is also beautiful for women our age. Not extreme. None of this weird, you know, fast until eleven. And the punishing that works for men. Supportive of stop eating at seven p.m. Stop eating after dinner.

Your sleep will improve because your body can focus on repair instead of digestion. You stabilize blood sugar. You reduce inflammation. Your body gets to focus on repairing the brain, not digesting. Win win win win win. Side note: in the Love Your Life School in May, we’re playing a May health game, and this is one of the things that we’re keeping track of and competing in that’s going to be so much fun. We make it easier and more fun together. Stop eating after dinner and put the phone down. All right, two and three.

Number four thing I stopped in midlife in perimenopause: alcohol. And I’m sorry. I have to say it. I cannot tiptoe around this. I have to mention alcohol. Alcohol is such a toxin and yet there is such big money being poured into making us think that it’s not as bad as it is. And I’m here to say, don’t play games with yourself. There are thousands of research studies that have been hidden showing alcohol increases the risk of breast cancer, along with seven other cancers. It affects sleep. It affects weight. It affects skin. It makes us more depressed. It makes us more anxious.

Honestly, like when I think about this, you guys, if I had a magic wand and could get all midlife women to do one thing, it would be this: it would be to stop drinking. Yes, you heard me. I would rather you eat an entire chocolate cake each night than have a glass of wine. It’s that big a deal. Not because you’re going to feel great after eating the whole cake. I think we all know that, right? No one has convinced us that maybe eating a whole cake is healthy for us. Maybe it’s not that big of a deal. No.

But with alcohol, there is a lot here, a lot of ad dollars that are being poured in to help us discount ourselves. Getting us to think things like, I don’t know, Susie, is it just me, but I swear I don’t sleep as well after I have a glass of alcohol. I swear my face looks puffier, or they’ll be like, “Susie, it’s so weird this things happen.” Like it’s not weird, it’s alcohol. They’re just trying to make you feel that it’s your fault, because that’s a really convenient thing for them to do to get us to keep doing the thing, like making us feel broken. It’s the system. A lot of wealthy people benefit from us believing alcohol isn’t that bad in the alcohol industry, and then in the pharmaceutical industry, because of all the things we need to do once we get one of the seven cancers alcohol causes or one of the inflammatory diseases. Okay?

It’s just—please, I won’t go on and on. Mainly I want you to make sure your eyes are open with your choice. When we eat an entire chocolate cake at night, we know we’re not being healthy. We know this isn’t a great choice. And sure, do it. But I know you—you’re going to get sick of yourself quick enough that you’re not going to keep doing that. Whereas we can have a glass of wine and talk ourselves into the nonsense that they want us to believe, and I’m here to say otherwise. Alcohol is addictive. One drink a week raises your cancer risk. Alcohol makes you more depressed, more anxious, more bloated. And yet the “let’s grab a drink” is normalized. It’s marketed as self-care, warriors, it is sneakily stealing so much of our female brain power and vitality.

So yes, it was tough for me to quit. I quit, I think five, almost six years ago now, to say no to my friends. Sober sex—I was dating at the time. Oh, all the things. And yet it has made a bigger difference in my health, and my sex life is better, thank you very much, without the alcohol, so much better. But it’s made a bigger difference in my health and vitality than anything else I can point my finger to. You just need to believe me and just get started. This would be a beautiful thing for you to stop. Plus, talk about like what you could give your future self as a gift and modeling for our kids. All right, so that was our fourth thing to stop.

Let’s make the fifth thing to stop fun, fun, fun and uplifting. Here’s the fun thing: stop saying no to yourself. That thing you’ve always wanted to try—try it. Put it on the calendar. Get out of the someday land. Put it on the this day land. That outfit you have, but you never wear—wear it, pull it out. It doesn’t matter if you’re going somewhere fancy or just wear it. The side hustle you’ve wanted to start—start it. The scary conversation about getting a raise—have it. The place you wanted to visit—plan it. Dream big. Stop limiting yourself. Stop saying no to yourself.

Your brain will always offer you negative what ifs, right? And I drew a line back in twenty fifteen that changed everything for me. I decided that if I was going to consider the negative what ifs—it’s like, what if you have this conversation about asking for more money, and what if you say that you want to go here—and I would—I said that if I consider the negative what ifs, I would spend an equal time considering the positive what ifs. What if this works better than I ever imagined? What if this is exactly what’s supposed to be happening? What if this conversation helps my marriage get better? What if my kids thrive more than I can imagine?

Stop saying no to yourself in this magnificent life you’re here to live. I truly believe the universe is on our side. It is always nudging us towards our next evolution, our next level of awesomeness. We just have to get out of the way. When you get that little glimmer in your brain, say yes. Stop saying no.

So let’s start this next part of our year by removing some of the human habits that hold us back: late night scrolling, late night eating, drinking, punishing workouts. And let’s focus on the things to add—they feel so much lighter to me: reading, flossing, walking, sunblock, saying yes to myself. Okay, so we can end this year thinking, wow, that year went better than I ever imagined. We’re five months into this year. This year is still a baby. So much can change.

If you’re in a safe place right now, close your eyes for a second and imagine yourself five months from now—October. Picture yourself smiling, maybe sitting somewhere with the sun on your face and thinking of yourself and how you’ve been flossing. And how you’ve been reading and how you stopped drinking and how you’ve been walking every day for four minutes. What are you feeling about yourself? Smile. Imagine yourself thinking, oh my gosh, I’m so proud of myself for making those small shifts as Susie talked about. I feel so different, so much better. I remember thinking at the time I couldn’t do that or that won’t really make a big difference. Boy, am I glad I listened and just got started. I feel so much better about myself. It feels so wonderful to take care of myself in this way.

All right, open your eyes, warrior, and please know that future version of you is there waiting for you to make it happen. It is possible. And if you want support making these changes stick, come join me in May instead, the inside the Love Your Life School. We’re playing a May health game—I mentioned it just a little before. It’s not a shame game. It’s not a perfection game. It’s a fun, fun game. We’re tracking simple habits like daily movement, flossing, not eating after dinner, and we’re cheering each other on. We’re sharing our struggles and laughing along the ride of this human life. This is what we do inside the school. It’s uplifting, it’s powerful, and we change lives. I help you make small changes sustainable. We retrain the brain. We stop doing it alone. We stop thinking we’re the problem. You’re not the freaking problem.

If you’re ready for that October version of you, that part of you that is buzzing with pride and love for yourself and what you’ve done, join for the month—theloveyourlifeschool.com. Your future self is already thanking you. Let’s go make her proud. Big love to you warrior.

Thank you for listening to the Love Your Life Show. If you want to hear more from Susie and support the show, be sure to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes. Also, leave a review and share this podcast with friends and family. You’ll get a Warriors.