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What Are You Tolerating?
There is a lot of heaviness out there. So many of us are tired of “this”. We’re worn out. We’re fed up. We feel tired, sluggish, and heavy. We are tolerating a lot in our lives and that leads us to these feeling states. I hear you and am here to tell you that you’re not alone.
Instead of blaming others, complaining, or doing the same thing over and over thinking you’ll get a different result, I invite, urge, encourage you to learn the lessons.
2020 as an Illuminator
The shut down of the quarantine and COVID shined a bright light on how we were really living in our lives. What we were tolerating. What we were enjoying. What we weren’t enjoying. With this clarity, I’ve seen people go two ways: 
Sone have dug into deeper patterns of despair and overwhelm where as others have reached out with the intent to learn and change.
Those who chose the path of digging deeper into patterns of despair and overwhelm tended to do so with what I call buffering. Digging deeper looked like more drinking, more eating, more fighting, more TV, increasing dose or beginning prescription meds. These are all things we do in the A line of the model to distract ourselves from what we are tolerating in our lives. We buffer ourselves and our inner warriors from the lives we were living. Instead of working on the distant relationship with our husband, we would do more of the same, hoping for a different result. Maybe over drink; Over complain to girlfriends or mothers; Over shop; Over worry about our kids and disease. Over over over instead of pausing to look and adjust.
Or we took the other path. We did stop and look. Many people reached out to schedule a session or to sign up for one of my programs. Many people have had a transformational year and period of time. Many chose to bravely look at the life they had been living to set themselves up to live a life they love.
Wherever You Are is Where You’re Meant To Be
Whichever path you took, the important piece is that you’re here now. There have been times in my life when I’ve buffered with over exercising, over parenting, over organizing, or increasing my meds as a way to tolerate the life I had set up for myself. That’s okay. At some point, I looked up and was like “whoa nellie!” And chose a different path. Any moment of any day is a great day to choose differently. As a listener of this show, you’re already on your path to looking and being more aware. Yay you! As this thing called life isn’t a “oh yay, we’re done”, let’s keep at it. Keep peeling away the layers of the onion as I say….
The key to living a life you love lies in our ability to align our inner values, dreams, and desires with our reality. If you’re feeling despair, fatigue or fed up that ‘s a sign that you’re living out of alignment with your inner warrior, your inner knowing. If you’re feeling despair or hopeless the solution is not to keep doing the same thing expecting a different result. If you’re feeling fed up or hopeless, the solution isn’t to complain about what’s going on or to blame other people for what’s happening in your life. If you’re feeling fed up, tired, or hopeless the solution isn’t to complain more or criticize yourself for what you’ve done and where you’ve been. This is a waste of energy. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
Let’s Not Waste Our Precious Energy
These things have already happened. You’ve already made those decisions. The past happened exactly as it was meant to happen. Don’t waste time arguing with it. Instead of spending your time beating yourself up for what you’ve done or what you think you should’ve done, spend your time lkindly reflecting with an eye on the future and moving forward.
The antidote for despair is action.
The antidote for feeling fed up or hopeless is kind, compassionate observation of what your current situation is right now. The antidote for despair, hopelessness, and fatigue is to bravely and kindly look at where you are and where YOU want to go. 
Not where your mom wants you to go. Not where your husband wants you to go. Not where your kids want you to go. Where do YOU want to go? What does your inner warrior, your inner knowing, your deep soul want for you and your life?
Some Forward Steps for You:
- How do you feel most days?
- How do you want to feel?
- What do you want your life to be like one year from today?
- What do you want your life to be like five years from today?
- What are you currently tolerating in your life?
If you find yourself saying I don’t know I ask you to instead say: If I did know what I wanted, what would it be? In my house I don’t know is a contraband phrase. Why? It’s a limiting belief. It is the equivalent of telling our inner self to shut up. Aside from that being quite rude, it’s really unhelpful and part of the reason why you’re feeling how you’re feeling.
By allowing yourself to say I don’t know you cut yourself off from the life you’re here to live. You cut yourself off from a vast sea of knowing. Saying I don’t know is a great excuse for not taking action.
We usually say I don’t know for one of three reasons.
- We don’t believe change is possible for us,
- We don’t believe we’re worthy of change, or
- We honestly don’t know because we’ve been living our lives for others for so long we’ve lost touch with our inner knowing.
I’ve done plenty of podcasts on all three of these reasons we don’t know and I encourage you to get the podcast roadmap at www.smbwell.com/roadmap if you’re a new listener to the show so you are armed with all the awesome free teaching I put out. For today, let’s look at how we can bring ourselves back into alignment, to live OUR lives so we can LOVE our lives.
Your Journal Questions:
- How do you feel most days?
- How do you want to feel most days?
- What do you want your life to be like one year from today?
- What do you want your life to be like five years from today?
- What are you tolerating in your life?
Schedule a time to write your answers to those questions out instead of continuing on this treadmill of life and 
moving on to the next task or next thing in your life. What happens when we don’t take the time to reflect and dream? We continue to tolerate what we’ve been tolerating. We continue to hide from our true desires. We continue to feel how we’re feeling. Day after day. Year after year.
Yes it’s vulnerable to answer some of these questions; to look at what we want and to look at what we’re tolerating. Feel free to share them with me in a comment below or on one of my instagram posts this week. There is vulnerability in admitting to yourself what you want and where you’ve been letting yourself down. And there’s an equal joy that resides when we step up to take responsibility for our lives.
We are the adults. There is no knight in shining armor. You are your savior. You get to choose to live the life you want to live. What are you choosing? Where have you gotten off of that path? Where are you tolerating things that are not in your best interest to tolerate? I give you permission to hop back on your path today. To think of your life a year from now and five years from now. To open your mind to the possibilities that are out there. To shut down that inner voice when it says: “I don’t know” and to ask instead, if I did know, what would I want? Whats the best and most awesome vision of my life one year form now? What’s the best and most awesome vision of my life five years from now?
“Those without vision will perish”
When we don’t have vision or hope for our life, we lose our spark. We lose the desire to wake up, get up, or go through our days. I had a mom the other day reach out for coaching because she said when she woke up on a recent weekday morning, her first thought was “I can’t wait til I can go to bed tonight”. How grateful am I that she reached out. And how brave she is for sharing so you know you’re not alone. Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, dazed or dull happens. What doesn’t need to happen is getting to the end of our life feeling that way. Yet, when we don’t take time to answer questions like the ones in this podcast, we end up on autopilot reliving the same life over and over.
You’re Already Ahead
Let me tell you something. If you’re reading this post or if you listen to the Love Your Life Show podcast, you are already on your path forward. My listeners and readers, whether you’re a long time listener or a first timer, you are courageous and brave. You may not feel it every day but your inner warrior is calling to you and you are starting to quiet down the noise of others to listen in. To live your life. So you can love your life.
Remember, the antidote to helplessness and despair is action. Do you have a coach? If not, I’d love to be yours. I run a program and I am not shy in saying this is the best program out there. I set you up to live a life that feels better I give you clear directions and steps to live a life you love. I have studied happiness and human psychology for more than 20 years and know the four steps necessary to hardwire in success and to make this all easier for you.
Sign up before it closes at www.smbwell.com/bestlife. If you’re looking for something a bit smaller, I ask you why? Because you don’t matter? Because living a smaller life is safer? Because you’re not worth it? BS BS BS. You matter. You are worthy. And starting smaller means going slower. Spending more time feeling helpless, hopeless, or fed up. Sending more time in what dr Lynette willis defines as stable misery. Please don’t do that to yourself warrior, join me.
And if your’e already a client of mine, hooray us. I love you! Can you think of someone to send this episode to? Share the love? Help your loved ones and friends live a life they love? We are here to shine our light. When one rises, we all rise. You are here for a reason and you matter to me. I can’t wait to support you. Xxxxx
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