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What the Outback Taught Me About Perfection and Anxiety
What can the Australian outback and a Dr. Seuss story teach us about perfectionism and anxiety? Surprisingly, a lot.
Recently, I did something I’ve never done before. I took two weeks off of work to go on a camper van road trip through Australia’s outback, the waterfall region, and the Great Barrier Reef. It was adventurous, refreshing, and eye-opening. And it reminded me of two powerful life lessons that show up in one of my favorite children’s books: Solla Sollew by Dr. Seuss.
Both lessons speak directly to the struggles I see in my clients every day: the perfectionist fantasy that life will one day feel calm and easy, and the anxiety that keeps us stuck worrying about things that may never even happen.
The Arrival Fallacy: Waiting for Perfect
In Solla Sollew, there’s a place where “they never have troubles, at least very few.” Doesn’t that sound wonderful? But it’s also the perfect picture of the arrival fallacy—the belief that once we reach a certain milestone, life will finally feel good.
We think:
- Once my teen gets through this phase…
- Once my husband changes…
- Once I lose that weight or get that addition…
Then everything will be better.
This is the perfectionism in midlife that keeps so many of us stuck. The problem is, life will never be 100% perfect. It’s always 50/50. There will always be things that are not great and there will be things that are great. It’s our choice as to what to focus on. In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, I give specific and personal examples of how this was true for me in my latest empty nest adventure! —things going well alongside things that aren’t.
The lesson? If we’re always waiting for that future “perfect time,” we miss what’s right in front of us. Living in the present moment gives us freedom of acceptance: that life is a mix of awesome and awful. Mindful living also provides the opportunity for us to choose what we will focus on. Personally it helps me avoid the expectation hangover that I get when I have perfectionist thinking.
Anxiety and the Unknown
The second lesson has to do with anxiety in everyday life. Anxiety thrives when we feel uncertain or out of control. Our brains want to keep us safe, so they prepare for every possible bad thing.
On this trip, I thought I had covered it all: snakes, jellyfish, crocodiles. I’d read the warnings and thought I was ready. And then suddenly…BOOM!!! I came across a creature I hadn’t even thought to worry about. (I’ll share the full story on the podcast!)
That’s how sneaky anxiety is. We can spend hours worrying, but often the things we fear most never happen. And the challenges we do face? They’re usually the ones we never considered.
One of my great mentors, Dr. Wayne Dyer, famously says “worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair expecting you’ll get somewhere”. Reasonable precautions make sense, but beyond that, it’s about choosing where to direct your brain. There are just as many amazing possibilities as awful ones.
By focusing on emotional maturity and acceptance, we can keep anxiety from hijacking our days. Instead of letting fear lead, we can choose faith, presence, and even joy.
Lessons From the Outback
So, what did the Australian outback teach me?
- Life will never be perfect. There is no magical Solla Sollew. Accepting that truth allows us to stop waiting and start living today.
- Anxiety doesn’t protect us. Worrying about every possible danger doesn’t keep us safe—it just robs us of joy in the moment.
Whether you’re navigating a family road trip, raising teens, or simply facing the unknowns of daily life, these lessons apply. Stop chasing the fantasy of a perfect future and stop letting anxiety run the show.
Managing anxiety while parenting, traveling, and in our everyday life is a skill worth working on. If that sounds like something you’d like to get better at, you’re in the right place. I used to be on 2 different anxiety meds and once had 32 panic attacks in a weekend. I know how awful anxiety can feel. And I’ve found a way to manage it. These things we weren’t taught in school (but can be taught in coaching), are so helpful. Why not see if I have space on my calendar?
Moving Forward
If you’ve ever felt like you’re waiting for life to finally calm down, or if anxiety keeps you spinning in worst-case scenarios, you’re not alone. But remember: you don’t need to get to a “perfect” future to feel good now.
Life is happening at this moment. Let’s stop waiting for perfection and start living today.
Links Mentioned:
- The Podcast Roadmap
- Lovingly Detachment on Apple Podcast and Spotify
- Popcorn Parenting on Apple Podcast and Spotify
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