When you feel uncomfortable, what do you do?
If you are uncomfortable at a social event, what do you do?
If you are uncomfortable because your child is sitting alone at lunch, what do you do?
If you are uncomfortable in your body and a friend invites you to the pool, what do you do?
Usually, we jump right in and try to find a way to make the discomfort go away. To fix it. To make an external change. When my child tells me heβs sitting alone at lunch, do I encourage him to look around for people who might be in his class? What if, instead of trying to fix his discomfort, I allowed him to feel it. If I said: βGee, it sounds like youβre uncomfortable. Iβm sorry.β Or, if instead of reaching for a glass of wine when Iβm uncomfortable at a social event I pause and ask myself: βWhy am I uncomfortable? Is it the people? Is it a story Iβm telling myself? Why did I choose to come?β
Feeling uncomfortable doesnβt mean something has gone wrong. What if you began to think of discomfort as one of your super powers? If instead of looking to escape the feeling, you allow yourself to feel it? Think of it as arriving in your life to point something out to you?
The next time you feel uncomfortable choose to become a detective in your life and try this:
-> Look at what you do to avoid feeling uncomfortable? Do you shop? Pour a glass of wine? Fill a bowl with ice cream? Pick up your phone?
-> Listen to what you tell yourself about feeling uncomfortable:
Are you critical? βYou shouldnβt be uncomfortable in this situationβ, or βWhy are you angry?β
Are you dismissive? βYou shouldnβt be stressed. Other people have it a lot worse than you.β
Are you shaming? βYou deserve this. You chose your job. You chose your husband. Youβre happy enough.β
Weβve been taught to think something is wrong with us if we feel a negative emotion. If I was angry when I was a child, I was sent to my room. If I was sad, I was told I was too emotional and to βget a hold of myselfβ. Hereβs the truth: We canβt not feel what weβre feeling. Feelings are energy and when we suppress them in one area of our life, they will explode out into another. Depression is defined as the suppression of emotion. Your suppressed emotion will show up as a migraine, extra weight, an alcohol problem, debt, etcβ¦
Choose to become the detective in your life. Look and Listen to what you do when you feel uncomfortable.
If something is happening that has you reaching for the wine instead of dealing with your reality, it’s in your best interest to put down the wine and deal with it. Did you had a tough day? Put down the spoon of ice cream or glass of wine and question why? Why was your day tough? Take responsibility for what’s going on.Β Drinking or eating allows you to hide in that moment but wonβt change the situation. What is your super power helping you to see?
You’re the best! I’ve been trying to sit in my emotions and get to the gut of it. Doesn’t feel great in the moment but boy does it feel good once I understand it.
YAY YOU for using your superpowers!