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The Eldest Daughter Pattern and How to Break It
Have you ever felt like the unofficial caretaker of your family or the one who must hold everything together?
In this conversation with Adaku Mbagwu, founder of Healed Hero, we talk about what it really feels like to be the one everyone turns to. Whether you are an eldest daughter or simply someone who learned early to carry more than your share, this episode will help you see your patterns with more clarity and compassion.
Adaku and I explore how birth order shapes our identity, the quiet pressure high performers internalize, and why so many of us grow up believing our value comes from holding everything together. The insights she brings are powerful, relatable, and deeply grounding for anyone who has ever felt tired from being the dependable one.
And don’t worry – since this is the Love Your Life Show, we dig into the healing side too. Adaku walks us through the early steps of reclaiming your energy and agency so you can feel lighter in your relationships and steadier in your daily life. Her framework of strategic vulnerability is a game changer, especially for women who have armored up for decades.
Much of what she shares echoes what we know about healing attachment wounds and chronic over responsibility, yet she presents it in a way that feels accessible and hopeful. If you are ready to shift out of perfectionism, people pleasing, and overfunctioning, this conversation will feel like a warm invitation to finally choose yourself.
If you liked this show, you’ll like this one:
How to Communicate with Narcissists and Emotionally Immature People on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-communicate-with-narcissists-and/id1434429161?i=1000711108596
How to Communicate with Narcissists and Emotionally Immature People on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/0FTaNbB8tCwPfI0sLyix92?si=f4e7f0afc68d4bd5
Get all the links we mentioned and connect with Adaku Mbagwu go here👉🏾https://SMBwell.com/396
Want more support?
📩 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter so you never miss an episode. http://bit.ly/2gYQMlA
💬 Share this with a friend who’s a first born or eldest daughter.
👩🏼🎓Take it to the next level and join the Love Your Life School http://theloveyourlifeschool.com/
📸 Tag me on Instagram @smb.wellness so I can cheer you on! https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
Emotional Validation: How to Support Without Fixing in Parenting and Relationships
In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, I teach one of the most important relationship skills we were never taught: emotional validation.
If you often feel the urge to fix, explain, or make things better when someone you love is struggling, this episode is for you. I have found that in learning the skills of emotional validation and emotional intelligence, the people I love (my kids, my husband, my friends, etc) feel so much more love from me. Versus, when I didn’t know these skills, our conversations and my efforts to support were wonky and they were left feeling disconnected, or worse, incompetent or shamed.
Learning how to validate is how we support others without taking on their emotions or trying to change their experience, and it will change your parenting, marriage, and every close relationship you have.
This episode builds directly on last week’s conversation about emotional regulation. When you can stay calm inside yourself while someone else is having big feelings, validation becomes possible. I explain what emotional validation actually is, what it is not, and why validation does not mean agreement, approval, or fixing the problem.
We talk about why emotions need soothing, not solving, how to stop minimizing or invalidating feelings without realizing it, and what to say when you want someone to feel seen, heard, and supported. I share practical phrases you can use with your kids, your partner, and the people you care about most, along with guidance on how to stay present without overfunctioning or taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions.
If you are a parent, partner, helper, or chronic fixer, this episode will help you build healthier emotional boundaries, deeper connection, and more emotionally safe relationships. Spoiler Alert: When they feel better in relationship with you, YOU feel better too! 💕
🎧 If you liked this episode, you’ll like this one:
Emotional Intelligence on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/12-emotional-intelligence-101/id1434429161?i=1000422477973
Emotional Intelligence on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/3GWK2i77mU4zmwwAVd3tc4?si=VNiD8j76QOyX6nW-kNRVWg
📩 Don’t miss out: Get weekly wellness tips straight to your inbox: Get the weekly newsletter here: https://SMBwell.com/newsletter
⭐️See if Coach Susie has room on her one-on-one schedule for you: https://smb.as.me/
🤓FIRST TIME LISTENER? Grab the PODCAST ROADMAP with the foundations of emotional intelligence and mental wellness here: https://SMBwell.com/roadmap
👩🏼🎓The Love Your Life School Membership-http://theLoveYourLifeSchool.com
🙌🏾 Buy Susie’s a coffee (and support small business and Susie’s mission): https://patreon.com/susiepettit 🙏🏾
🩷Let’s be friends on Instagram-https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
🌟Get the full show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/395
Emotional Regulation: The Skill That Makes Parenting and Marriage Easier
Emotional regulation is one of the most important relationship skills we were never taught.
In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, Susie Pettit explains why emotional regulation is the skill that makes parenting and marriage easier and why learning to stay calm when the people you love are not can change every relationship in your life.
If you tend to take responsibility for other people’s emotions, rush to fix feelings, or feel unsettled when your kids, partner, or loved ones are upset, this episode is for you.
Susie shares how emotional regulation builds emotional safety, why fixing feelings often backfires, and how developing emotional resiliency helps you show up as a calmer parent, partner, and human.
You’ll learn:
⭐️ What emotional regulation actually is and why it matters in parenting, marriage, and relationships with our empty nest young adults
⭐️ How to stop outsourcing your calm to the people around you
⭐️ Why feelings need support, not solutions
⭐️ A simple framework to respond to big emotions without fixing or shutting them down
⭐️ How emotional regulation supports emotional intelligence in kids, teens, and even our underfunctioning partners or young adults
Whether you’re parenting young children, teenagers, adult kids, or navigating a long-term relationship, this episode will help you understand why your internal calm is the foundation for healthier, more connected relationships.
If you want parenting and marriage to feel less heavy and more grounded, emotional regulation is where it starts. Thanks for listening!
If you liked this show, you’ll like this one:
Loving Detachment on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/286-loving-detachment/id1434429161?i=1000642743348
Loving Detachment on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bL2I9rFFHSf18buCOEZMi?si=iyNfeWilT3eAkVYHgcwZkQ
Want even more? Get the most popular parenting episodes here: https://SMBwell.com/mom
Get the weekly wellness newsletter for warriors here: 📩 https://SMBwell.com/newsletter
Find the show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/394
⭐️ Ready to learn this faster? Get a coach! Find out more here: https://smbwell.com/work-with-me/
🙌🏾 Support Susie’s Mission: https://patreon.com/susiepettit
🩷Find and follow her on YouTube – LOVE YOUR LIFE VLOG – YouTube https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW9PibXJfNpKk5Yr6rpNVq4P_utWFkvYS
Or Instagram – https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
The Bedroom Gap with Dr. Maria Sophocles
In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, I sit down with Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk about midlife sexuality and why so many women experience changes in desire as they move through perimenopause and menopause. We explore the bedroom gap, sexual burnout in women, and the many reasons women find themselves wondering why they no longer want sex in midlife. From body image and sexual desire to the role hormones and stress play, this conversation sheds light on what is actually happening and why you are not broken.
We also talk about topics women are rarely given clear guidance on, including menopause and sex, medications that affect libido, and why it can feel so uncomfortable to talk to doctors and partners about sexual health. Dr. Maria shares practical, doable steps women can take today to feel more connected to their bodies and better informed about women’s sexual health after 40.
In this episode, we cover:
Why libido changes after menopause and during perimenopause
What sexual burnout looks like and why it is so common
How body image impacts sexual desire in midlife
The bedroom gap and mismatched expectations between partners
Prescription medications that may be affecting libido
How to talk to your doctor about sex and get real support
If you have ever felt confused, frustrated, or alone when it comes to sex in midlife, this episode on the bedroom gap with Dr. Maria Sophocles and Susie Pettit will help you understand what is going on and what you can do next.
If you liked this show, you’ll like the past conversation I had with Dr. Maria!
Rethinking Menopause & HRT on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rethinking-menopause-hrt-your-best-self-starts-now/id1434429161?i=1000713365898
Rethinking Menopause & HRT on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TwRaLgGLrmxBzLlT7vpBu?si=Hl3CyADmTCKrAIkgD2QxPg
If you already listened to that and want more about “duty sex” and midlife sexuality, don’t miss this conversation with Dr Sonia Wright:
Let’s Talk about Sex with Dr. Sonia Wright on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/130-lets-talk-about-sex-with-dr-sonia-wright/id1434429161?i=1000507532904
Let’s Talk about Sex with Dr. Sonia Wright on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/3kPZokWJmNAFnKunNP0SnK?si=bgimi9afQhGSIkxshn2ikQ
Get all the links we mentioned and connect with Dr Maria Sophocles go here 👉🏾https://SMBwell.com/393
Get her book now: https://amzn.to/49uZ7JV
Want more support?
📩 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter so you never miss an episode. http://bit.ly/2gYQMlA
💬 Share this with a friend who feels burnt out, resentful towards her husband, or is in a sexless marriage.
👩🏼🎓Take it to the next level and join the Love Your Life School http://theloveyourlifeschool.com/
📸 Tag me on Instagram @smb.wellness so I can cheer you on! https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
Are You Being Compassionate or Codependent? How Overfunctioning Is Costing You Your Peace
Have you ever wondered if you are being compassionate or if you are actually taking on responsibility that was never yours to carry?
In this episode, I am talking directly to the women who are capable, thoughtful, and deeply caring, and who often feel exhausted because they are holding everything together for everyone else.
This conversation was inspired by real emails from listeners who asked a powerful question. How can I tell if I am being compassionate or codependent?
Together, we explore how many of us were raised to overfunction, why this pattern makes so much sense, and how it shows up in our adult relationships. I share why this is not your fault, how being a “good girl” shaped so many of our habits, and why trying to fix other people’s feelings can quietly steal your peace.
Most importantly, I walk you through simple, practical ways to pause, regulate yourself, and respond differently so you can stay caring without abandoning yourself. I also share real life examples from my own day to show how this work looks in the moment, not in theory.
If you are ready to stop feeling so responsible for everyone else and start creating healthier, more connected relationships, this episode is for you.
If you liked this show, you’ll like these:
Top episodes for moms: https://SMBwell.com/mom
Top episodes related to narcissism + relationships: https://SMBwell.com/narc
The Podcast Roadmap (foundational episodes on emotional intelligence and emotional maturity): https://smbwell.com/roadmap
FREE QUIZ: How Codependent Am I? https://SMBwell.com/coda
Get the full show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/392
⭐️See if Coach Susie has room on her schedule: https://smbwell.com/work-with-me/
🤓Join the Love Your Life School: http://theLoveYourLifeSchool.com
🙌🏾 Support Susie’s Mission: https://patreon.com/susiepettit
📰Get the Weekly Warrior Wellness Newsletter: http://bit.ly/2gYQMlA
🩷Let’s be friends on Instagram-https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
Three Gen X Blind Spots That Hurt Our Relationships and How to Heal Them
Do you consider yourself GenX?
Do you know someone who was born between 1965-1980?
Don’t miss this episode inspired by a TikTok on “The Top GenX Blindspots”. Whoa!
For me, and many midlife women, these are things we learned to do to survive in a system where our emotional and mental needs weren’t met. We were pretty ingenious actually, one might even say, warrior like! Yet, as adults, these adaptive, protective strategies become maladaptive and hurt us and our relationships.
Join me as I explain how the way we were raised might be quietly sabotaging our emotional wellbeing and the health of our relationships.
If you have ever wondered why you say you are fine when you are not, why you push your own needs aside, or why you feel responsible for everyone around you, this episode will help so much.
And I don’t leave you hanging – after listening, you’ll have some simple strategies to help you care for yourself, connect more deeply, and begin shifting patterns that have been in place for decades.
This episode is the perfect starting point as we begin a new year and move toward February’s relationship healing work in the Love Your Life School.
Join me, fellow GenX woman, as I look at three hidden patterns that are probably playing out in your relationships and affecting your mental health.
If you liked this show, you’ll love these two:
Learned helplessness on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/274-overfunctioning-and-learned-helplessness/id1434429161?i=1000634097009
Learned helplessness on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4MF4IJSaVSMpfNhRAb7wyN?si=JuwR8qQnRiydi4fKDz1UDw
Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/enmeshment-codependency-with-dr-kate-balestrieri/id1434429161?i=1000733979384
Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/6WMOkGaEpLNHcmvF0W5JTa?si=kMALGFXuTQWzb-oFH5qDGQ
Get the full show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/391
⭐️See if Susie has room on her schedule for a one-on-one session. Let’s get to where we’re going faster! https://smb.as.me/
🤓Quick – Join us as we dive into relationships for February 2026! The Love Your Life School Membership http://theLoveYourLifeSchool.com
🙌🏾 Support Susie’s Mission https://patreon.com/susiepettit
🩷Find, follow and connect with her on Instagram https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
📩 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter so you never miss an episode.
💬 Share this with a friend who’s feeling disconnected or overwhelmed. (or who often says “I’m fine” but you know she’s anything but ❤️🩹)
Avoid these Conversation Traps: Your Communication Fresh Start
Anyone else out there tired?
Emotionally exhausted?
Ready to try something new for 2026?
This is the episode for you. 💗
I sat down with Dr. Shonda Allen Hill to talk about the subtle “conversation traps” so many midlife women fall into without realizing it. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling drained, irritated, or like you just lost thirty minutes of your life you’ll never get back, click play. 🤓
These traps steal our time, amp up our stress, and keep us stuck in cycles of over-explaining, defending, and managing everyone else’s emotions. Dr. Hill breaks down why these patterns feel so exhausting and why they’re especially common for moms who are already carrying the emotional load of the whole household.
But here’s the good news: communication doesn’t have to feel heavy. In this episode, Dr. Hill shares simple, doable shifts that help you reclaim your time, your energy, and your peace—even if the people around you don’t change. Her insights will show you how to say less, stress less, and sidestep the conversations that lead straight into conflict or resentment. If you’re ready to feel lighter in your relationships and more in control of your day, you’re going to love this conversation.
If you liked this show, you’ll like this one: Communication Tool: Less Drama, More Connection on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/communication-tool-less-drama-more-connection/id1434429161?i=1000658725819
Drama, More Connection on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4t8QgA2UAiFkB9a9XrZszU?si=OcxoBHQsT5a83zh2aiskew
Get all the links we mentioned and connect with Dr. Shonda Allen Hill go here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/390
Want more support?
📩 Subscribe to the weekly newsletter so you never miss an episode. http://bit.ly/2gYQMlA
💬 Share this with a friend who feels like her conversations with her husband or kids never change or who sometimes complains “We can’t talk about that”
👩🏼🎓Take it to the next level and join the Love Your Life School http://theloveyourlifeschool.com/
📸 Tag me on Instagram @smb.wellness so I can cheer you on! https://instagram.com/smb.wellness
A Guided Tapping Session for the Days You Just Can’t Even
This is the episode you’ve been asking for!
When you next feel overwhelmed, anxious, emotionally exhausted, or over. it. all….Before booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here, press play and tap along with me.
In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, I walk you through a full guided EFT tapping session. This is the exact practice I use when my emotions feel too big, when my anxiety hits a ten out of ten, or when life feels heavier than I want it to.
EFT tapping blends Chinese acupressure with modern psychology and is known for helping with anxiety, stress, fear, sleep struggles, and emotional overload. You simply tap on 9 points of the body while repeating a setup statement.
This is a quick episode where I guide you through the exact practice. Not one more thing to do or research. I’ve done that for you. Literally, sit back, push play, and feel relief.
I’m serious when I say, this works.
Inside this episode you will learn:
– How EFT tapping works and why it helps so quickly
– The 9 tapping points and how to use them
– A simple phrase to repeat for emotional relief
– When to use tapping for stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and spiraling thoughts
– Why this tool is in my personal emotional wellness toolbox
This is a short, calming, supportive session designed for real life moments. You can tap along anywhere and any time you need grounding.
If you have been feeling stretched thin or stuck in your head, this episode will help you reconnect with your body and breathe again. Give yourself the next few minutes. You deserve it. Press play and let’s tap together.
👉🏽Want another “push play, feel better” practice? Here’s a full body scan
Warrior Body Scan on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/warrior-body-scan/id1434429161?i=1000454944667
Warrior Body Scan on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/0UkMmFbdlO3wwzsi4Hcd2V?si=06f8f264216744c4
👉🏽Looking for more of what helps me when I’m anxious?
Listen here: 64: 10 All-Natural Ways to Beat Anxiety on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/64-10-all-natural-ways-to-beat-anxiety/id1434429161?i=1000454561162
64: 10 All-Natural Ways to Beat Anxiety on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4BFVByo5lmPC60mj3g6LeU?si=b31sBGL-QSC-5fHRs_PmIQ
Want to see where I’m tapping? Watch this video here: https://youtu.be/FaSuF_JbYM8
And if you’re new here, Here’s the PODCAST ROADMAP I mentioned: https://smbwell.com/roadmap for the foundational episodes on emotional regulation, emotional intelligence, and how to feel better in your life.
Get the full show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/389
CONNECT WITH COACH SUSIE:
⭐️Work with Coach Susie: https://smbwell.com/work-with-me/
🤓The Love Your Life School Membership-http://theLoveYourLifeSchool.com
🙌🏾 Support Susie’s Mission: https://patreon.com/susiepettit
🩷Find and follow her on YouTube-LOVE YOUR LIFE VLOG – YouTube
Or Instagram-https://instagram.com/smb.wellness