Are you tired of feeling unworthy of love or struggling to build meaningful connections? In this episode, I discuss the concept of lovability and its two distinct aspects: being lovable and the ability to love.

I challenge the conventional notion that lovability is earned through achievements or external validation. Instead, I reveal the empowering truth that it is an inherent quality we all possess. By understanding that love stems from our thoughts, we break free from the shackles of seeking approval from others and embrace our innate worthiness of love.

I first stumbled upon the concept of lovability through my coach, Brooke Castillo. She introduced me to two fascinating facets: lovability as a single word and “love ability” as two words. Let’s unwrap them together.

Key Takeaways:

• **Unconditional Lovability**: Understand that you are 100% lovable just as you are. Your worthiness of love isn’t conditional on what you do or achieve.
• **Feelings and Thoughts Connection**: Recognize that feelings like love stem from your thoughts. What others think about you is a reflection of their own thoughts, not your lovability.
• **Building Love Ability**: Practice your ability to love, not just others but yourself too. Developing this skill enhances your overall well-being and brings more joy into your life.

Lovable: The One-Word Marvel

When we talk about being “lovable,” it refers to our ability to be loved. Often, we tie our lovability to actions or characteristics.

Has my income increased this month? Is my weight lower? Have I been kind to others? These questions echoed in my mind for years, constantly weighing down my self-worth. But guess what? This kind of thinking centers around conditional love—a love wrapped in “if-then” statements. You don’t need to achieve anything or fit a mold to be lovable. Our upbringing might have led us to believe otherwise, but that’s not a reflection of our real worth. We are inherently lovable, just by existing. Everyone is a hundred percent lovable! It’s revolutionary to realize that our worth doesn’t lie in the external accolades or the validation we receive from others.

Love Ability: Building My Capacity to Love

Then there’s love ability—our inherent capacity to love. Cultivating love isn’t reserved solely for romantic endeavors or familial bonds; it extends to self-love and the love for acquaintances. Have you ever thought about that grumpy cashier who seems to have had a rough day? What if you could feel love towards them instead of frustration? This realization was a game-changer for me. Because, here’s the kicker: feelings of love stem from our thoughts. It’s a cognitive shift. If we feed our mind loving thoughts, we inevitably nurture a warm sensation within ourselves. Feeling love towards someone, even those who are challenging to love, alters our internal state, making us feel better. Love is the most exhilarating emotion I’ve experienced, and I learned that I can generate it on demand.

Personal Practice: Shifting My Perspective

So how did I start? I began actively practicing thoughts of love. To those who annoyed me, to those who hurt me, and most importantly, to myself. I remember vividly one day deciding to love my ex-husband, who at that time, harbored resentment towards me. Although our lives had diverged significantly, I chose love. Not for him, but for myself. This practice extended to minor daily irritations—like the neighbor’s dog that constantly barked or my own children when they were having a bad day. Gradually, I noticed my ability to love grew stronger, more resilient.

The Path to Self-Love

Most transformative was applying this concept to myself. We are often our harshest critics. I’d beat myself up over mistakes or flaws, which only dampened my spirit. Shifting my perspective to one of self-love—no matter the circumstances—was liberating. I began to see myself through a kinder lens, appreciating my journey rather than critiquing my missteps.

Final Thoughts

Warriors, realizing that you are 100% lovable just as you are is the ultimate form of self-love. It’s an empowering idea that liberates you from the chains of external validation. Embrace it. And then, work on building your love ability. Spread love, feel love, and most importantly, be love.

If my journey resonates with you, I encourage you to take these steps with me. Join the Love Your Life School to delve deeper into these teachings. Together, let’s cultivate a life where we not only recognize our inherent lovability but also expand our capacity to love ourselves and those around us. Big love to you all, and let’s go out there and practice being love warriors.