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Feeling Stuck? Let’s Move Forward Together
What are three words to describe how you’ve been feeling this past week? If any of your words were stuck, burnt out, directionless or completely emotionally drained, you’re not alone!
This is a time of year when we hit a bit of a low in energy and emotions. We’ve spent the past 3-5 weeks (possibly 3-5 decades!) prioritizing other people’s needs over our own. Many of us have been in a constant “go go go” mode. Crossing one thing off our to do list, only to write down four more.
It is no surprise we end up feeling not only exhausted but also without a clear sense of direction. We’ve been spending more time thinking of what everyone else is doing in their lives than what we’re doing in our lives.
These next two weeks of the Love Your Life Show dive into this common feeling and struggle so that I can offer you practical steps to feel more purposeful and less stuck.
On the other hand, if you’re not feeling stuck right now, that’s great! Luckily this episode will be super helpful for you too! The thing I speak of today is something I find most of us doing, whether we’re feeling stuck or not. Additionally, you probably have someone in your life who’s feeling what many are feeling right now and learning about these things will help your relationships and connectivity.
What does Feeling Stuck sound like?
Feeling stuck can be anything from not feeling lit up and alive in your life. Maybe you find yourself asking yourself “Is this all there is?”. Additionally, it can feel a bit like existential dread sometimes. This can sound like “Why am I here?” and “What’s my point?”
Feeling stuck can also sound like us thinking that we should be doing more than we’re doing or that we should’ve figured this out by now. We can feel impatient with where we are yet feel unsure of where we’re going. It can feel like a low level hum of restlessness in the background of your life or it can feel much louder and heavier.
As a coach, I know that, when we feel stuck, the most important place to start is with a shift in mindset. Click here to listen to personal examples of how I help people just like you feel less stuck.
Suffering: Resisting Reality
One of the main ways we get into emotional drama is by thinking the past should’ve been different than it was. We spend time arguing with the past and judging our past selves.
This sounds like us saying things like “they should’ve done this” or “If I had done this, I could’ve …”. Be on the lookout for words like would, could and should as those tell us we’re trying to change what happened in the past. As Byron Katie says, “Don’t argue with the past. It wins 100% of the time”
Whether it’s about sticking to an exercise plan, planning meals better, or handling a work situation differently, arguing with the past or thinking that the past should’ve been different than it was is unproductive and draining. The past is unchangeable, and dwelling on it is like running a car engine while it’s still in park. It wastes energy and gets you nowhere.
We were stuck.
Think about an area in your life where you feel stuck. Are you arguing with what has already happened? For instance, I used to spend a lot of time thinking about how my first marriage should have been different. I’d replay conversations, imagining how they could have gone better. This endless cycle of judgment kept me from moving forward.
Embrace Acceptance
Acceptance is the antidote to this cycle of judgment. When we learn to accept what has already happened, it releases a level of drama that feels good to our nervous system. Don’t get me wrong though. Acceptance doesn’t mean you need to feel good about it. I give plenty of examples in this Love Your Life Show episode detailing that.
Accepting our past allows us to conserve energy and focus on what we can control.
If you’re eager to get started practicing this, which I hope you are, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What is an area of my life where I feel stuck or directionless?
- If I was going to explain to Susie why I’m stuck, what would I say?
- When I look at what I wrote, am I thinking other people (including myself) should’ve done something different before today?
- Who am I thinking should’ve been different?
- What am I thinking that should’ve been different?
- If I were to retell this story but not judge myself or others, what would that story be like?
- What would happen if I thought the past happened exactly as it was supposed to happen? How does that make sense?
If you’re in the Love Your Life School, you can email me the answers to your questions or bring your answers to a live coaching session. If you’re not a member yet, please consider joining us as we are spending all next month getting unstuck. I’m so excited because we’ll be looking at where we procrastinate (including procrasti-eat!) and to learn how to stop this self-abandoning behavior.
Finding your Purpose and Living a Life You Love
Finally, please make sure you’re following the Love Your Life Show so you don’t miss next week’s episode on the tactical tips you can take to get unstuck, once you stop arguing with the past. I’m so excited because the process I speak of has changed many warriors’ lives (including mine!)
This is the first step towards getting unstuck and moving forward. For more insights and exercises, check out the full podcast episode and consider joining the Love Your Life School, where we dive deeper into these transformative practices.
Episodes Mentioned:
- Story Telling: Past and Present in Spotify
- Story Telling: Past and Present in Apple Podcast
- How to Get Out of a Rut in Apple Podcast
- How to Get Out of a Rut in Spotify
