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Is Everyone a Narcissist? Or Just Emotionally Immature?
Have you ever wondered if someone in your life might be a narcissist? Or maybe you are consistently being told “you’re too sensitive” and wonder if you’re the problem?!
It’s a valid question. One that I hear all the time and frankly, one that I asked myself for years in my first marriage. Here’s the truth: not everyone is a narcissist. In fact, most people aren’t.
So why do so many relationships feel confusing, one-sided, or emotionally exhausting? Truth is, we’re often dealing with emotional immaturity—not narcissism.
In this week’s episode of the Love Your Life Show, I break down the difference between narcissism and emotional immaturity and share three of the most common signs of emotional immaturity that show up in relationships.
And trust me—this episode will be helpful whether you’re recognizing these traits in someone else… or in yourself.
(No shame! One of the biggest takeaways I hope you get is that we are all emotionally immature until we learn and study emotional intelligence.)
🔎 What Emotional Immaturity Looks Like
There are many traits of emotional immaturity. In this episode of the Love Your Life School, I highlight three that I saw most often in myself and see most often in my clients’ and students’ lives.
1. Defensiveness
When someone can’t take feedback, gets overly reactive, or always needs to be right, it’s undoubtedly a sign of emotional immaturity. Sometimes we can do this because of past trauma, this certainly was my experience, yet it is still pointing out how as adults, this would be an area where we can strengthen our emotional intelligence.
In the episode, I share how defensiveness can sound like “That’s not what I meant!” or “You’re twisting my words!”—and what to do when you hear it (in yourself or others).
2. Over-functioning
Are you the one who always fixes, manages, and takes on more than your share? Do you often feel heavy with the responsibility to take care of everyone else’s problems? Or maybe you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about what other people should or shouldn’t do with their lives.
Overfunctioning feels helpful in the moment—but it often masks deeper emotional patterns. This segment is especially helpful for my fellow people-pleasers and recovering perfectionists.
3. Victim Thinking
When someone constantly feels life is happening to them instead of something they have power in, it’s another sign of emotional immaturity. I was in this pattern for years. I spent a lot of time thinking about what everyone else was doing to me. Not only did that feel awful, it made it so I felt out of control in many areas of my life.
You’ll hear how to shift out of this pattern, even when it feels justified—and how to handle it when someone else is stuck there. If you’re a parent of a teen or young adult, you’re going to get extra goodness out of what I share in this section: for you and your kid! 💫
💡 Why Learning the difference between Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity Matters
Recognizing emotional immaturity doesn’t just help us understand others better—it gives us more peace and power.
When you can look at someone and say, “Ohhh… this is just emotional immaturity,” you become less reactive, less frustrated, and way more effective in your relationships.
Furthermore, understanding these traits helps us grow emotionally ourselves—so we’re not stuck in the same unhelpful patterns.
🎧 Ready to Listen?
This is a short, powerful episode that could shift the way you look at your relationships—starting today.
Whether you’re navigating a tricky dynamic with a partner, friend, parent, or teen… or you just want to grow your own emotional intelligence, this episode is for you.
👉 Click here to listen now or find the Love Your Life Show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
You’ve got this, Warrior.
Links Mentioned:
As I mentioned in the episode, here are three other episodes that will help you with narcissists and emotional immaturity:
If you’re eager to feel better fast, the best way to do that is with some one-on-one sessions with me. Click here to see if I have room on my schedule.
