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The One Skill That Will Change Everything in 2025
Happy New Year, warriors! As the calendar flips to a fresh start, it’s so tempting to dive into resolutions and mile-long to-do lists. But before you start trying to fix everything about your life, I want to invite you to pause and focus on something that can actually change everything.
I’m talking about how you talk to yourself.
Yep, your self-talk—the way you speak to yourself throughout the day—has a massive impact on how you feel, how you show up, and how your year unfolds. If your inner dialogue leans toward guilt, shame, or harsh self-criticism (hello, been there!), you’re likely carrying around way more stress than you need to.
Here’s the good news: You can change it. When you shift how you speak to yourself, life feels lighter, calmer, and more manageable—without anything else having to change.
Why Self-Talk Matters
Let’s be real: most of us are harder on ourselves than anyone else. You mess up, and the voice in your head jumps in with something like, Seriously? Get it together. Or maybe you don’t finish everything on your list, and you catastrophize and think thoughts like: “You’re so lazy.”
Ouch.
Here’s the thing: that voice isn’t helping you. It’s keeping you stuck. It’s adding stress and taking away energy you could use to move forward. Positive self-talk isn’t just fluff—it’s a way to change the way you feel about your day, your relationships, and your life.
The truth is, you’re not going to guilt or shame yourself into a better life. But you can encourage and support yourself into one.
How to Start Talking to Yourself Differently
Shifting your self-talk is a skill, warriors. It’s not about pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows. It’s about learning to treat yourself with kindness and encouragement, especially when life is hard. Here’s how to get started:
- Pay Attention: Spend a day noticing how you talk to yourself. What’s that voice saying? If it’s things like, I’m such a failure, or I’ll never get this right, just notice it. Don’t judge it. Awareness is the first step.
- Reframe the Negativity: When you catch a harsh thought, try softening it. Instead of I’m terrible at this, try I’m learning, and I’ll get better with practice. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just a little kinder than before.
- Acknowledge Yourself: Every time you pass a mirror, give yourself some love. Smile. Say hi. If you’re feeling bold, throw in a compliment: You handled that situation really well today, or Look at you, showing up for yourself. It might feel weird at first, but trust me, it’s powerful.
Why Self-Talk Matters
This isn’t just about feeling warm and fuzzy. Positive self-talk changes your life. It makes it easier to set boundaries, speak up, and take care of yourself. It helps you worry less and laugh more. When you stop being your own worst critic, you can show up as the mom, partner, friend, or warrior you want to be.
Take the Warrior Challenge
So here’s my challenge for you: make positive self-talk a priority this year. Don’t just think about it—commit to it. Write it on a sticky note, tell a friend, or email me. Accountability works, and you deserve this.
And if you want to go deeper, join my free webinar, How to Stop Feeling Responsible for Everyone and Everything, on January 23rd at 7 PM EST. We’ll talk about how to let go of guilt and worry so you can feel lighter and freer in 2025. Sign up at smbwell.com/freedom.
If you’re reading this past January 24th, check to see if the Love Your Life School is open. It’s a monthly membership I’ve designed to teach us with all the things we should’ve been taught in school to make our life easier and feel lighter. It’s a super easy (and low cost) way to try out coaching and get the support your wonderful self deserves.
Warriors, you are not broken, behind or failing. You are here, and you are amazing. Let’s step into this year with a commitment to treat ourselves with the kindness we deserve.
