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Choose Your Hard
Today on the Love Your Life Show we are discussing two things: This idea of choose your hard and what to do when the people around you don’t make the same choices as you. This is an important episode as people like you, who are reading this post or listening to the show, are on a path of growth of self discovery. Not everyone is. This is why I call you warriors. You’ve chosen to push into the discomfort; to choose to grow instead of shrink. Today let me support you.
Human Organisms are Either Growing or Shrinking
Fun fact: humans are either growing or shrinking. There is no middle ground. In other words, some of us are making decisions to learn more about ourselves, to push ourselves, to expand to a next level. While some of us are choosing to numb out, to rest in comfort, to shrink a bit. In other words, to keep doing what everyone else is doing.
It’s one of those things: as humans we are wired to grow, after we’ve been doing the same thing for a while, we are programmed to feel an urge to change. It feels a bit uncomfortable. That’s the fork in the road. When we feel that opportunity, do we choose the hard of short term discomfort of discovery or do we choose to avoid, ignore, and push down that urge. One fork leads to initial discomfort and long term gain. The other leads to short term ease and long term regret.
Don’t Let Your Brain Choose Your Hard
Interestingly, our human brain is wired for the easier path. It has a motivational triad and when given the choice, chooses to seek comfort, avoid pain, and conserve energy. Say we feel the nudge to grow, to shift, to change. We decide that we’re going to start an exercise program and walk for 10 minutes every day. 
When we get down to taking the daily action, our brain will rebel. Since our brain likes comfort, it will come up with excuses and reasons for why we shouldn’t exercise. Change takes energy. Growth takes bravery as it involves risk. Our brain likes to save energy and avoid risk or pain. Change takes energy. Growth takes energy.
Which is why, sometimes when you’re choosing the discomfort, when you’re choosing to ignore your brain’s negative thinking, those around you may not be. Don’t get me wrong, They are humans so they feel the same nudge to grow yet, without being aware of the motivational triad, without some degree of mindfulness, their brain will run the show. Their brain will convince them it’s too hard. It’s too uncomfortable. They may listen to the inner negative voice that says “Don’t bother” or “That’s not possible for you. You’re being unrealistic.”
As I said at the beginning of this post and podcast, not everyone is mindful like you. Not everyone understands that growth involves discomfort. They may not understand that if they don’t bring some intention or mindfulness to their thinking, their mismanaged brain will run the show. When left unmanaged, the human brain chooses ease over discomfort.
Life Satisfaction doesn’t happen in a Mismanaged Brain
Allowing our brain to run the show is akin to letting a toddler run the day’s schedule. It might be fun every once in a while but for long term happiness and satisfaction, some degree of thinking and intentionality is necessary. Which is why I’m so glad you’re a listener of this show!
Allowing our brain to run the show is akin to letting a toddler run the day’s schedule. It might be fun every once in a while but for long term happiness and satisfaction, some degree of thinking and intentionality is necessary. Which is why I’m so glad you’re a listener of this show!
Choose your hard is all about recognizing that short term ease leads to long term regret. In our relationships, in our health, in our businesses, in all aspects of our being. In fact, Bronnie Ware‘s research, an Australian Hospice Nurse, backs this up. It’s reported that when people are dying, one of their top regrets is that they didn’t not living a life more in alignment with their values. Another top regret is that they lived a life based on what other people wanted them to do instead of listening to what they wanted to do.
Listen in to the Choose Your Hard Episode to learn:
- What to do when your friends say “You’ve changed”,
- How do you know when you’re choosing the “wrong” hard,
- What to do if you feel guilty when others don’t make the same choices as you,
- How do you continue your own self education when those around you aren’t,
- What to do when change feels uncomfortable,
- And much more!
Links Mentioned
How to Make Friends as an Adult
Busting the Myths of Friendship
Membership for Midlife Warriors
