Confidence and Self Doubt

Did you know that confidence and self doubt affect all areas of our lives? Which means that when we work on strengthening our confidence and minimizing our self doubt, amazing possibilities open up for us. In fact, lack of confidence is one of the biggest causes of regret, despair and resentment.

When we feel confident in our parenting, we don’t care so much what others are doing or what other kids are up to. If we feel confident in our decisions, we don’t over explain ourselves or get defensive in our communication. Feeling confident is one of the most freeing, wonderful feelings states in the world which is why I am never going to get tired of podcasting on and supporting warriors with confidence. 

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Listen in to Learn:

  • How self doubt affects confidence
  • What sorts of things increase our self doubt
  • How our conditioning can limit our confidence
  • Why self doubt may strengthen our limiting beliefs (and what to do about that!)
  • Four main drivers of self doubt
  • And much more

Four Main Buckets of Self Doubt

There are four main drivers of self doubt, four main buckets of self doubt that lead to us feeling less confident. On today’s show, I’ll talk about the four main ways self-doubt can come up so you can start to think of how each area shows up in your life. Notice how I didn’t say if it’s coming up. It is. Let’s remove the shame in feeling self doubt. Instead of being surprised that self doubt is present, understand it exists in all of us.

Part of our programming here in earth school is in forgetting our brilliance. Forgetting how awesome you are. You were born believing in your enoughness, your worth. And over the years, that gets eroded. Your warrior path is to be open to see where you feel self doubt or a lack of confidence now because the first step in changing anything is noticing it, we can’t change what we don’t know about. 

So let’s put on our kind and compassionate student hats to see which of these four areas comes up most for us. And don’t fear, I don’t leave you there. You know me, I give you with the goods warriors. For each of the four areas, I’ll introduce things to do with them. To take it deeper, enroll in the Love Your Life School and I can help you get out of self doubt faster. All right? Lets go

Confidence Stealers:

Lack of security.

Have you heard of attachment styles? This is what we’re talking about here. In essence, we form ideas of security or non security based on how our earliest needs were met as children. Now don’t freak out that all is lost because we’re no longer 4 years old. Nope. The beauty is that our brains have neuroplasticity, meaning we can change our patterned behavior and attachment styles, at any age. Beginning today. Listen in to the episode as I share specific ways to change.

Lack of Purpose or Direction in your Life.

This comes up for a lot of us moms and midlife women. It feels heavy and dark and scary and sad. We may have the deep inner thought of “Do I matter? Does anyone notice me? Or, does anyone really understand everything I do?”

In today’s episode I share a super tool to help with this. Please don’t miss it.

Lack of Belonging

The third area of self doubt that comes from a lack of a sense of belonging. When we feel like we’re different, that we’re not like them, they’re better than us or they’re different than us, we feel a lack of confidence. Have you ever not done something because you thought you weren’t good enough or you weren’t like that ? This habit of our brain to do this “othering” is so harmful and frankly, inaccurate.

In the episodes I speak of one of the four noble truths of Buddhism that helps with this self doubt driver. Learning about it brought me great peace in a dark and negative period of my life. It reminds us that you are not alone. Nor are you the only person to feel like such a failure and mess up. I share one particular time that this way of thinking helped me in mothering my teens.

Lack of Competence

Now this is it, ey? Competence is often what we think we need if we feel self doubt or a lack of confidence. We think we need more competence to feel confident to go on interviews, to launch a company, to go on midlife dates, to ask for the raise or to give the speech.

Nope! This is a complete fallacy and the sooner we can stop believing it, the more forward action we will all take on our dreams. A fear of the lack of competence shows up as imposter syndrome, all or nothing thinking and perfectionism. This is actually one of the main fears of top executives. Research shows they have a fear of being “found out”. Or at being seen as incompetent. Oh no. I’m so glad you’re listening in to this episode. 

Do you have the confidence to say, I’m not good at this yet? Can you embrace the beginners mindset? Could that ease the fear of being found out? I am here to tell you that yes. The confidence to have doubt and the confidence to accept us being good enough to get started.

Confidence doesn’t land on you. It comes from taking baby steps with lots of imperfect action in order to get better at whatever we’re doing. 

A More Confident Life

Thank you for listening in. All links mentioned can be found below (or, if I left some out, let me know! I’m taking imperfect action too!)

I’m on this journey with you. Trust me, I’ve done the work and am here to help you bust up self doubt, to help you step into your magnificence and best life. Think back over these four areas of self doubt, lack of security, lack of significance, lack of belonging, lack of competence. Which one seems biggest to you right now? Choose the action step I mentioned and lets go. The world needs you to step into your power, dear one. Each and every small step helps. 

Links Mentioned:

⭐️ Confidence and Self-Doubt Choose Love [MIDYEAR HUG] on Apple Podcasts

⭐️ Choose Love [MIDYEAR HUG] on Spotify

⭐️ Celebrating You! EPISODE 200 on Apple Podcasts

⭐️ Buddhism article


⭐️ Enroll in Higher Education for Warriors at the Love Your Life School

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⭐️ Show Notes Here

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⭐️ Have a teen in the house? Learn the basics to support your changing child here

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