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Why Embracing the 50/50 of Life Will Change Everything

As we step into a new year, let’s talk about a concept that can truly transform how you experience life: the idea that life is always 50/50. This powerful insight, shared by my mentor Brooke Castillo, says that no matter our circumstances—whether we’re living our dream or facing challenges—life will always be a balance of 50% positive and 50% negative experiences.

Here’s why this matters: so many of us resist the uncomfortable half of life, thinking it “shouldn’t” happen or trying to fix it with toxic positivity. But resistance only amplifies suffering. Acceptance, on the other hand, lightens our emotional load.

My 13 Days in the Hospital: A Lesson in Acceptance

I recently had a firsthand lesson in this when I spent 13 days in the hospital. Beyond the physical pain, I added layers of emotional suffering by resisting reality with thoughts like, “This shouldn’t be happening.” Only when I accepted my circumstances and allowed myself to feel emotions like fear and frustration did I feel a sense of ease—even amidst the challenge.

This experience reminded me that resisting the harder parts of life only adds to our pain. It’s like carrying a heavy load and then piling more weight on top by telling yourself it shouldn’t be heavy. When I stopped resisting and simply acknowledged, “Yes, this is hard,” I found an emotional lightness that made the experience more bearable.

The 50/50 of “Good” Events

This concept applies not just to challenges but to life’s joys as well. Think about a “good” event like a vacation or a promotion. These come with joys and stressors—packing, delays, or learning new responsibilities. By accepting the mix of emotions instead of dismissing the uncomfortable ones, we make space for our true human experience.

For instance, you might dream about the perfect family holiday, only to feel disappointed when arguments arise or plans go awry. Instead of labeling those moments as failures, recognize that they’re part of the natural 50/50 balance of life.

Why We Struggle with the Negative 50%

For many of us, negative emotions like frustration, sadness, or worry trigger shame or self-judgment. We’ve been taught to believe that feeling bad means we’re doing something wrong—that if we just work harder or plan better, we can eliminate discomfort entirely.

But this isn’t how life works. Trying to force only positive experiences is like expecting the sun to shine every day without ever allowing for rain. Life is richer and more meaningful when we accept both the sunshine and the storms.

The Freedom of Allowing Emotions

When you embrace life’s 50/50, you free yourself from chasing an impossible “I’ll be happy when” life. You also stop judging yourself for feeling negative emotions. Frustration, sadness, and worry aren’t signs you’re doing something wrong—they’re just part of life.

Allowing your emotions without resistance is like opening a pressure valve. Instead of bottling up anger or masking sadness, you give yourself permission to feel—and in doing so, the intensity often dissipates more quickly than you’d expect.

Practical Tips for Embracing the 50/50 of Life

Here are a few ways to practice this mindset in the year ahead:

1. Name Your Feelings: When you notice an emotion, label it without judgment. For example, “I’m feeling disappointed right now,” or “This is frustration.” Naming your feelings helps you process them instead of resisting them.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts: Notice when you’re thinking, “This shouldn’t be happening,” and gently remind yourself, “This is part of life’s 50/50.”
3. Practice Self-Compassion: When you’re in the midst of life’s harder moments, speak to yourself as you would a dear friend. Offer kindness and understanding instead of criticism.
4. Celebrate the Full Spectrum: Reflect on moments where joy and struggle coexisted, like a busy but rewarding holiday season or a challenging yet meaningful project. Recognize how both the positive and negative added depth to your experience.

Make This Your Year of Emotional Freedom

This year, try allowing your emotions, both good and bad, without resistance. By doing so, you’ll discover a path to freedom, calm, and self-compassion. Life doesn’t have to feel so heavy—even when it’s hard.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, check out the Love Your Life School for tools to process emotions and build emotional resilience. Together, we can embrace life’s 50/50 and create more space for peace and joy in your life.