Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways
At the end of June 2022, I will be doing something I never thought I’d be doing, something I never thought was in my life plan. In July, I will leave behind my US residence and move to the other side of the world, leaving behind my culture, my country, and so much of how I define who I am. I feel the fear and I am choosing to do it anyways.
In this week’s podcast episode I dive into the growth cycle of life and how, my recent trip to Thailand and my future move support this cycle. Often when we feel the fear we think that means to stop or to do something different. Listen in to learn that this is holding us back as humans and that we actually need to do the opposite for growth and life satisfaction.
How to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways:
In this week’s episode, I describe how I recently completed a commitment to myself. Further, I look back at my divorce, lessons from my biological family, and my view on how to live a life you love. I discuss how a recent trip to Thailand verified the backbone of my work, the thought model.
The thought model is one of two frameworks that I use in my coaching programs and sessions. It was developed by my life coach, Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School and shows how our thoughts create our reality. In other words, if you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.
When the Odds are Stacked Against You
I am the first to acknowledge how challenging having a positive mindset and thinking hopeful thoughts can be difficult. However, letting our circumstances take over our thoughts leads to a life full of regrets and missed experiences. I am here to urge you to keep at it. To feel the fear and take scary, messy action anyways.
Maybe you’re at a place right now where your present reality is quite bleak. I am sorry. Truly. As someone who’s family chose to support her ex husband, financially and emotionally, I am well familiar with the emotional toil of difficulties. I am here to be your lighthouse. To be a vision of what is possible when you use the thought model to practice deliberate thinking to get results you want.
This does not mean you may even know exactly what that future result looks like though it does mean that you take steps towards something different. For instance, I could not foresee the business I have today, 7 years after my divorce and financial flatlining. Rather, my current reality is greater than my dreams! There was no way I could’ve seen the life I have now. It was all about feeling the fear and taking a tiny step forward.
So Much Fear
Was I scared? Yes. When we grow, there will be fear. Growth does not happen without fear. Fear and discomfort are part of the journey of expansion. They are components of living that life we love. Feeling the fear and taking action anyways IS the secret to feeling fulfilled and life satisfaction.
Life’s goal is not to be stress free all. Rather, there is a circular pattern of growth that creates happiness and life satisfaction that doesn’t feel all that pleasant. The cycle is this: first we feel the nudge to expand, to grow. Second, we take scary action that feels quite uncomfortable. Finally, we evolve. Grow. Rinse and repeat.
What is modeled around us and what is common is the alternative: to play it safe. We are encouraged to adapt to and believe in the status quo. To believe that you’re happy enough. That your marriage is good enough. We are encouraged to settle for tolerable. Namely, to feel the fear and stop.
What do you think isn’t possible for you?
Listen in for a bit of a pep talk and brain expansion. Your life’s satisfaction lies in pushing back against your thoughts a bit. To notice that they are thoughts you’re thinking, possibly put there by parents, peers, or society. As an adult, part of our job is to question which of our thoughts are holding us back? What do you think is possible for you this year? In the next 5 years or decade?
Hear the call.
It is time to expand what you think is possible for you. Today. Choose to not settle for the story that society tells us is right for us…We are trained to doubt our own inner guide and listen to external sources. I’m here today to remind you that your voice matters. Consider this an invitation to question what you think is possible for you and for your future. To look at where you may be settling, where you may be telling yourself you’re happy enough, it’s good enough, who are you to ask for more?
I see your greatness and your potential. It is only limited by the thoughts you’re thinking. Reminder: a thought is a sentence in your head. These thoughts or sentences may sound like: “raising teenagers is hard” or “this is what marriage is like” or “I’m happy enough”.
Choose to expand and take scary action today. It is time to challenge the sentences running around in your head. Are they serving you? How do you feel in your days? Lit up? Excited? Or flat and ho hum? Push what you think. What do you think is possible for you and your future?
- What is your greatest possible vision of your marriage?
- Your relationship with your kids?
- What do you believe about work and your earning potential?
I didn’t think it was possible to travel as a single woman to the other side of the world with one of my sons when I had my dad and ex threatening to bring me to court. Further, I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love and have a marriage that is so deeply amazing and satisfying as the one I’m in today. Nor, I didn’t think it was possible to raise teens in a loving, supportive and committed house. Today is your call to push back and engage in some deliberate thinking. Question the sentences running in your head.
By Your Side
I am here to support you on this journey with me. If you don’t have a life coach, I’d love to be yours. If you’re a woman over 40, join the best community online, my monthly Midlife Warrior Membership. If you’re a parent of kids ages 10-25, run to take my parenting course while it’s still available. You matter to me, dear warrior!