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How to Avoid a Panic Attack: 3 Simple Steps to Manage Anxiety
Let’s talk about how to avoid a panic attack. I’ve had plenty and know firsthand that they’re not pleasant emotional or physical experiences. When I’m having a panic attack, it feels very out of control and scary. Luckily (?), I have had the experience so I have studied the best ways to support yourself (or your anxious, panicky teen or young adult). Listen in to the Love Your Life Show episode to hear personal examples and the steps you can take to avoid a panic attack. Whether it’s for you when you’re feeling anxious or if your teen needs help with their anxiety, this will help when you feel anxiety creeping in.
Normalizing Anxiety
Before we jump into the steps, it’s important to start by normalizing what you or your teenager or young adult child is feeling. Anxiety is a normal reaction to what’s happening in the world and in our lives right now. Ever since the pandemic, anxiety levels have surged—some studies show it’s increased by 30%.
One way we make anxiety worse is by getting anxious about being anxious! When we can approach it with a mindset of, “It makes sense I’m feeling this way,” that mindset alone can help prevent a panic attack.
If you’re a mom, be mindful not to let your own anxiety about your child’s anxiety escalate the situation. In the episode I give many examples of how to say things differently that will support your child. Make sure you listen in.
One simple shift to make in your mindset is instead of thinking, “Oh my gosh, something’s wrong, my kid is anxious!” shift to, “It makes sense they’re feeling this way.”
How To Avoid a Panic Attack Step One: Notice and Name
The first step to avoiding a panic attack is simple but powerful: Notice and Name. Specifically, notice what is happening in your body and name it.
Start by paying attention to your body. Are you short of breath? Is your chest tight? Are you clenching your jaw? What are your shoulders doing?
Most of us go through life like little human robots, moving from one task to the next without checking in with ourselves. But anxiety thrives in the dark. When we ignore our feelings, they don’t just disappear—they simmer under the surface, getting louder, like a toddler tugging on your sleeve.
So, slow down and notice. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling in my body right now?” Maybe it’s tightness in your chest, a pit in your stomach, or a sense of dread. Then name it. Say, “I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m noticing my heart is racing.” Naming your feelings creates distance from them. It’s no longer this big, scary, uncontrollable thing. It helps me to think: “it’s just a physical sensation. It will pass, like stubbing my toe.”
Step One in Parenting our Teens
This will also help you when your kid is anxious. Imagine this: You’re feeling completely calm. Your kid comes home from school. They enter the room you’re in and say “I’m so anxious about my test tomorrow.” They grab a snack, and head up to their room.
How many times has this happened to you? They leave, but their stress lingers in the room. That’s when you use this first step. Notice and name to avoid a panic attack. Notice what’s happening in your body and name it. Say something like: “Oh wow, I notice my jaw is clenched, my shoulders are tense. I’m stressed about their stress.”
How To Avoid a Panic Attack Step Two: Feel it to Heal it.
This part of how to avoid a panic attack is to process the emotion in your body. Feel it to heal it. This means you’re thinking about your body, not what’s going on in your life. (Think about what stress feels like in your body not that your teen is anxious about their test)
Emotions are physical sensations. Anxiety is energy in motion, and the way to avoid a panic attack is to let that energy move through you, rather than bottling it up.
Instead of overthinking why you’re anxious, focus on where you feel it. It might seem counterintuitive—”Susie, I don’t want to feel anxious, I want it to go away!” But avoiding those sensations only makes them stronger. Allowing yourself to feel them helps them lose their grip.
On the Love Your Life Show, I teach how to do this in the simplest of ways: with our breath. Listen in here to hear the technique and to practice with me.
Step Two When Parenting our Teens
First, what not to do. Don’t tell your kid to breathe. For us moms, modeling this behavior is more effective than telling your teens to “just breathe.” When you practice deep breathing around them, their nervous system will pick up on that. I promise. It’s like what we do on an airplane if there’s turbulence. We look at the flight attendant. If she’s freaking out, we’re going to freak out. If she’s calm, we calm down.
Practicing to calm the energy of the space you’re in is monumentally more impactful than giving advice or feeling anxious with them. Energy is contagious.
How To Avoid a Panic Attack Step Three: Zoom Out!
Once you’ve noticed and named and then felt the sensation of the emotion in your body, you’re ready for step three. Zooming out. Like a camera lens.
Anxiety has a way of making everything feel massive and urgent. It zooms in on one problem, making it seem like it’s the most important, life-threatening issue.
To counter this, zoom out like a camera lens. Ask yourself:
“What’s another way to think about this?”
“If this were happening to my neighbor’s kid, how might I feel differently?”
“Will this matter to me next week, next month, or next year?”
This shift slows down your nervous system response and gives you perspective.
Step Three in Parenting or Marriage
In general, I advise you to skip this step with your spouse, your teens, your young adult children or your friends. This step is for them to do on their own. When we try to “force” a perspective shift on other people, it usually takes longer for them to zoom out and get that perspective shift themselves.
Further, when we say something with the intent to reframe their anxiety, it can harm our relationship with that person. It often feels dismissive. Instead, model this perspective for yourself and let them see how you manage your own anxiety.
Final Thoughts to Stop a Panic Attack
The most important thing you can do for your anxious teen, spouse, or friend is to manage your own anxiety first. Practice these steps regularly—not just during moments of panic. Building emotional resilience is like exercising a muscle; the more you do it, the stronger you become.
If this resonates with you, share it with a friend or teen who might need it. And if you’re looking for more support, check out The Love Your Life School or schedule a one-on-one session with me. Building emotional intelligence is work worth doing—for yourself and for future generations.
Thank you for being here and for doing the inner work that changes the outer world. Let’s go!
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