Are you a worrier?
Do you not only worry about what could go wrong in your life but also what could go wrong in everyone else’s lives?!
I used to too.
I used to be so afraid.
Afraid of what might happen.
Afraid of what might not happen.
Afraid of what others thought of me.
Afraid of looking a certain way.
Afraid of not looking a certain way.
Afraid of what would happen if….
I spent the first 35 years of my life letting fear drive my life.
Acting, mothering, and making decisions based on my fear.
Then my dear friend was diagnosed with colon cancer.
I became one of her primary care takers and witnessed her physical and emotional struggle as her life ended.
I witnessed her work through her regrets about how she had spent her life.
It was time to wake up.
My cosmic alarm clock went off.
It was time to start questioning my fears.
It was time to start asking: “WHAT IF?”
What if others did think something about me?
What if I didn’t look a certain way?
What if I did?
What if it did go wrong?
What if it didn’t?
Guess what happened?
I started to speak up.
I started to listen to my inner warrior.
I started to take action.
Guess what else happened?
My worst fears came true.
My parents turned against me.
My then-husband turned verbally and emotionally abusive.
I lost 30% of time with my children in a custody battle.
More than 400 thousand dollars was taken from me.
I had 32 panic attacks in a weekend.
Guess what ELSE happened?!?
I was happier than I had ever been in my entire life.
The fog that I passed my days in lifted.
I was a calmer, more confident mom.
Because I chose me.
Because I was living the life I was meant to live.
Because I wasn’t playing by others rules anymore.
I was a better mother and a better human through listening to my inner warrior.
Fear is a part of our life. It will never go away.
I urge you to embrace the fear.
And do it anyways.
Consider fear a sign of where you can grow; where you can explore. Get curious. Author Amber Rae speaks of choosing wonder over worry: get curious as to why your fear may be coming up. Allow it to be there. And…. take action.
As you listen to this, I’m in Thailand with my 16-year old son.
Is this scary for me? YES.
There are a lot of unknown factors when taking a trip to a country that doesn’t speak or write in my language. There are a lot of unknown factors when you travel period, let alone to the other side of the world with your adolescent son. So why am I doing it?
This is what life is about.
We grow as we move through fear. Life is not meant to be cozy and comfortable. The fear we feel (and pushing through it) is what makes it feel so good when we are done. We know we faced the fear and did it anyways.
I spent the last couple weeks asking adults and kids what they’re afraid of.
Almost everyone said they’re afraid of death.
We’re not afraid of death, dear warriors.
We’re afraid that we haven’t lived.
Do you hear that?
We’re not afraid of dying. We’re afraid we haven’t lived the life we’re meant to live. We know there’s more to us and our life than we are currently experiencing.
Australian hospice nurse Bronnie Ware, wrote a book on the top 5 regrets of the dying. Guess what their number one regret is? Wishing they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them. Guess what regret number 5 is? That they had allowed themselves to be happier.
What regrets would you have if you died tomorrow?
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to die. I love my life here.
Rather, since I no longer let fear drive my life, death is no longer scary to me.
If I die tomorrow, I have no regrets.
I say what I want to say. I take the trips. I’ve had the difficult conversations. I dive in. I live large. I love my life because I choose each and every day to live a life on my terms.
I know one thing for absolute sure.
[tweetshare tweet=”Letting fear or worry drive your life will leave you feeling regret and angst. You will live a mediocre, safe life that feels like absolute crap on the inside.” username=”SusieBarolo”]There is another way dear warrior. Choose wonder over worry today.
Where are you avoiding life because you are afraid?
Where is fear controlling your life?
What are you afraid of?
Challenge yourself to get curious.
Think of one area where you’re stuck and dig a bit deeper today. Ask yourself: “What if?”
If this resonated, please contact me. You’re not meant to do this alone.
I wouldn’t have been able to walk through my fear journey alone. We don’t know what we don’t know. We need coaches with outside perspectives to gently show us where we’re letting fear run the show.