There are three steps to creating a great day, a great week, a great life. If you move through all three, you will experience greatness. I promise. The deeper you dive, the greater your great.
The first piece of a great life is to acknowledge our role in what our life is like. What is going on in our life? There are very few things that happen in our life that we have no influence over. Take the simple things: if our house is clean, we have something to do with that. Whether it’s that we chose to hire a cleaner, set a specific time to clean, or established chores for our children, the house did not clean itself. Take the more complicated: If we have a connected relationship with our children, it isn’t that we’re lucked out with our kids. It’s because of the energy and effort that we poured there. Acknowledge and take responsibility for what is going on around you.
The second piece is to pause and consciously see what is going on around you? Our brains like to do the same thing over and over, avoiding discomfort or pain. If we do not pause and consciously look at what is going on in the different areas of our lives, we will continue to do the same things over and over. We will argue the same way, we will eat the same way, we will take care of ourselves the same way, etc… What will get us to change? Forced awareness: a scary diagnosis; a spouse leaving; a parent or friend dying. Choose to become aware now. What do you like about your current life and what do you not like so much? Nothing is ever perfect as life is a balancing act. You might be rocking it at work but have a laundry pile you can’t see over. That’s okay. Choose an area to focus on and do something about it. We can’t do it all but we can always do something. Instead of allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed, stop and prioritize. Which area of your life is out of alignment? That’s where you get to take action. Ask yourself:
Is this the marriage I want?
Is this the body I want?
Is this the daily routine that I want?
Is this the relationship I want with my kids?
Take action. Yep, you must take action. Complaining isn’t going to change anything. Whining isn’t going to change anything. Re-organizing your kitchen or getting a new calendar isn’t going to change anything. Drinking wine or eating ice cream isn’t going to change anything. Someone else isn’t going to come along and do the work for you. You must take action.
You must take action.
This is the step that we avoid and that we talk ourselves out of. We can see what we don’t like in our life. We might even be able to take responsibility for it. But when it comes to taking action to change it, we come up with an amazing variety of excuses.
->I’ve had people tell me they don’t have the time or money for coaching. Then they tell me how their marriage is failing, they’re disconnected from their kids, they’re not sleeping well, they’re on anti-depressants, and they’re carrying an extra 20 pounds on their body. Really?
->I’ve had people tell me they don’t have time or money for weekly date nights. Really? Have you heard how much a divorce costs? Do you know how much time it takes to meet with a lawyer if your marriage falls apart?
What have you been putting off and why? Often it’s because we tell ourselves we are powerless, that we don’t have control over whatever it is that we aren’t happy with. That’s what our brain wants us to believe. Our brain likes three things: to be comfortable, to avoid pain, and to expend as little energy as possible. This helped us as cavewomen and men but doesn’t help us anymore. I encourage you to dig into the belief that everything in your life happens for you. That includes everything that has already happened: failures, breakups, abuse, abandonment, cancer, etc…Why? Because it empowers you. Believing that everything happens for you, empowers you to find the lesson and move forward. Believing that everything happens to you, leaves you powerless and as a victim of your life. When I look to blame someone or something else for what’s happening in my life, I feel powerless and hopeless. I am unmotivated to make changes. When I look at life as happening for me, I see how I can shift and am energized.
How can you have a great life? Choose to be the victor not the victim. Follow the three steps: Choose to acknowledge your role in what’s happening in your life. Choose to be aware of what is going well and what is not going well. Most importantly, choose to take action. Now. Yes it takes courage. Yes you’ll find excuses to not take action. Ignore them. If you want something different, do something different. What have you been putting off?How can you have a great life? Choose to be the victor not the victim. Click To Tweet