What do you believe is possible for you?
Is this the life you thought you’d be living?
Is this how you thought you’d feel at this stage in your life?
Is your marriage the partnership you always dreamed of?
Are you the mom you always wanted to be?
What Do You Want With Your Life?
How often do you stop to think of the life you are living?
If you’re anything like I used to be, I went out of my way to make sure I was too busy to stop to look at the life I was living. It was as if I was telling myself that if I kept real busy I wouldn’t notice how unhappy I really was.
Staying busy was part of my unconscious defense so I could survive the life I was living.
There was a big piece of me that believed this was what life was about. That this life was as good as it got. That I was “happy enough”.
Life is meant to be lived in full vibrancy; At full volume.
We are not meant to live in busy, stressed out bodies just trying to make it through the day. #onelife Click To Tweet
I understand why I thought that and why so many women still think this. This is what’s modeled for us. If everyone around us is doing the same things and feeling the same way, we start to think it’s normal.
I’m here to tell you there is another way and that other way is how we’re supposed to be living.
We’re not meant to be miserable.
We’re meant to experience joy.
We’re not meant to be chronically stressed out.
We’re meant to live lives full of wonder and excitement.
Part of my mission is to be a vision of what is possible: as a mom, as a working woman, as a married woman, as a human. I want to live a life that allows others to look at what they think is possible for their life and blow that out of the water.
Expand Your Lens of Possibility
What sort of life do you think is possible for you?
What do you think is possible in parenting? What sort of mother do you think you can be?
What sort of potential do you think you have as a worker? Financially?
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.
We tolerate what we’re used to.
- If we think moms yell, then we’ll tolerate our yelling at our kids.
- If we think kids whine, then we tolerate whining.
- If we think spouses snap at each other, then we tolerate being snapped at.
- If we think we gain weight in middle age, then we gain weight in middle age.
- If we think we need wine to get through our days, then we need wine to get through our days.
- If we think weekdays are onerous, then weekdays are onerous.
- If we think our best years are behind us, then our best years are behind us.
- If we think we need to wait until retirement to have fun, then we have to wait until retirement to have fun.
- If we think we’ll only be happy if our body looked a certain way, then we won’t be happy in the body we have.
It’s true warriors, if you think you can’t, you can’t. If you think you can, you abso-frigging-lutely can! Why? It’s simple. The thoughts we think create the feelings we feel which drive the actions we take. If you’ve been listening to me for a while, you understand the thought model. If not, head back to some past episodes. What do you believe is possible for you?
Wait a Minute: What’s a Belief?
“A belief is just a thought you keep thinking.”– Abraham-Hicks
A belief is literally a thought you think over and over until you believe it is fact. It’s important to remember that thoughts are merely sentences in our head. They’re not necessarily true (and often aren’t). They start as things like: “I’m smart” or “I have trouble keeping focus” or “I’m motivated” or “I’m lazy” or even “I can’t jump”. They’re not in the first line of the model (the circumstance line) because they’re not actually fact. They’re not provable in a court of law. Smarter than who? Less focus than who? Can’t jump or can’t jump yet? They are sentences in our head. It becomes a belief when we’ve repeated it enough times in our head that we believe it to be true. Our brain then takes over and we know from neuroscience, what we look for, we will find.
How can I as a coach tell the difference between a client’s thought and belief? If they passionately defend it. If you look for reasons as to why it’s true you’ve found a belief. “No, I really am lazy….let me tell you of all the ways….”
What Do You Want To Believe?
Great news: we get to believe whatever we want to believe. Truly! What stories are you telling yourself? Start looking at what you’re currently believing and how it’s affecting you.
What do you tell yourself about your weight or physical fitness? Do you tell yourself that you’ll always struggle with your weight? Do you tell yourself that you’ll never be able to lose the weight you want to lose? Guess what? If you keep telling yourself that, you won’t. It’s important to get a coach to help you understand why you’re fighting for your limitations.
[tweetshare tweet=”Why are you spending mental energy generating excuses to keep yourself stuck, to live in a way that doesn’t serve you? #limitingbeliefs” username=”SusieBarolo”]
For example, what sort of marriage do you believe is possible for you? When I ended my 19-year marriage I told myself I’d never get married again. Why? Because of what I thought or believed about marriage. What did I believe was possible in marriage? My thoughts and beliefs about what a “good marriage” looked like were quite low. The marriage I had, the marriages I saw around me, my parents marriage? There was nothing in my experience that I wanted to duplicate. Yet, here I am in my second marriage, happier and more connected than I ever imagined. How? Because I blasted the belief of what was possible in marriage out of my head. I redefined marriage and choose instead to model what’s possible in marriage. One of the mantras I repeat most mornings is: I am in the most magnificent relationship of my life and it keeps getting better. I mean why not believe that? I choose to be a vision of what’s possible: for myself, for my sons, for anyone else who’s noticing.
What is Possible For You?
Whatever the heck you choose to believe.
Why not fight for the best possible scenario instead of limit myself to past beliefs or experiences?
I invite you to believe whatever the heck you want to believe.
You can believe you’re fantastic no matter what anyone else says.
You can believe that it’s all going to work out wonderfully for you and your kids.
You can believe that your past happened exactly as it was meant to happen.
You can believe that you are smart, amazing, and capable of anything you set your mind to.
If you think you are, you are. If you think you aren’t, you aren’t.
If you think it’s not possible for you, it’s not. If you think it is possible for you, it is.
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t.
Our lives are a reflection of the stories we tell ourselves.
What are you telling yourself?
What excuses are you making for yourself that don’t serve you? That don’t help you be your best self?
What can you tell yourself instead?
For help on your journey, please consider my popular Happy Habits Program. It is where you learn the 4 habits proven to raise happiness so that you feel better in one week! You are not here to merely get through or survive your days. Let me help you thrive. This is a group coaching class that will guide you in discovering your limiting thoughts and blast them out of the water! Join other women who say it is the best gift they’re ever given themselves. I am here and ready to help you, dear warrior.
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