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What do you believe is possible for you?
Is this the life you thought you’d be living?
Is this how you thought you’d feel at this stage in your life?
Is your marriage the partnership you always dreamed of?ย
Are you the mom you always wanted to be?
What Do You Want With Your Life?
How often do you stop to think of the life you are living?
If youโre anything like I used to be, I went out of my way to make sure I was too busy to stop to look at the life I was living. It was as if I was telling myself that if I kept real busy I wouldnโt notice how unhappy I really was.ย
Staying busy was part of my unconscious defense so I could survive the life I was living.ย
Why?ย
Happy Enough
There was a big piece of me that believed this was what life was about. That this life was as good as it got. That I was โhappy enoughโ.
Baloney.ย
Life is meant to be lived in full vibrancy;ย At full volume.
We are not meant to live in busy, stressed out bodies just trying to make it through the day. #onelife Click To Tweet
I understand why I thought that and why so many women still think this. This is whatโs modeled for us. If everyone around us is doing the same things and feeling the same way, we start to think itโs normal.
Nope.
Iโm here to tell you there is another way and that other way is how weโre supposed to be living.ย
Weโre not meant to be miserable.
Weโre meant to experience joy.
Weโre not meant to be chronically stressed out.
Weโre meant to live lives full of wonder and excitement.ย
Part of my mission is to be a vision of what is possible: as a mom, as a working woman, as a married woman, as a human.ย I want to live a life that allows others ย to look at what they think is possible for their life and blow that out of the water.
Expand Your Lens of Possibility
What sort of life do you think is possible for you?
What do you think is possible in parenting? What sort of mother do you think you can be?
What sort of potential do you think you have as a worker? Financially?ย
If you think you can, you can. If you think you canโt, you canโt.
We tolerate what weโre used to.
- If we think moms yell, then weโll tolerate our yelling at our kids.
- If we think kids whine, then we tolerate whining.
- If we think spouses snap at each other, then we tolerate being snapped at.
- If we think we gain weight in middle age, then we gain weight in middle age.
- If we think we need wine to get through our days, then we need wine to get through our days.
- If we think weekdays are onerous, then weekdays are onerous.
- If we think our best years are behind us, then our best years are behind us.
- If we think we need to wait until retirement to have fun, then we have to wait until retirement to have fun.
- If we think weโll only be happy if our body looked a certain way, then we wonโt be happy in the body we have.
Itโs true warriors, if you think you canโt, you canโt. If you think you can, you abso-frigging-lutely can! Why? Itโs simple. The thoughts we think create the feelings we feel which drive the actions we take. If youโve been listening to me for a while, you understand the thought model. If not, head back to some past episodes. What do you believe is possible for you?
Wait a Minute: Whatโs a Belief?
โA belief is just a thought you keep thinking.โโ Abraham-Hicks
A belief is literally a thought you think over and over until you believe it is fact. It’s important to remember that thoughts are merely sentences in our head. Theyโre not necessarily true (and often arenโt). They start as things like: โIโm smartโ or โI have trouble keeping focusโ or โIโm motivatedโ or โIโm lazyโ or even โI canโt jumpโ. Theyโre not in the first line of the model (the circumstance line) because theyโre not actually fact. Theyโre not provable in a court of law. Smarter than who? Less focus than who? Canโt jump or canโt jump yet? They are sentences in our head. It becomes a belief when we’ve repeated it enough times in our head that we believe it to be true. Our brain then takes over and we know from neuroscience, what we look for, we will find.ย
How can I as a coach tell the difference between a clientโs thought and belief? If they passionately defend it. If you look for reasons as to why itโs true youโve found a belief. โNo, I really am lazyโฆ.let me tell you of all the waysโฆ.โย
What Do You Want To Believe?
Great news: we get to believe whatever we want to believe. Truly! What stories are you telling yourself? Start looking at what youโre currently believing and how itโs affecting you.ย
What do you tell yourself about your weight or physical fitness? Do you tell yourself that youโll always struggle with your weight? Do you tell yourself that youโll never be able to lose the weight you want to lose? Guess what? If you keep telling yourself that, you wonโt. Itโs important to get a coach to help you understand why youโre fighting for your limitations.ย
[tweetshare tweet=”Why are you spending mental energy generating excuses to keep yourself stuck, to live in a way that doesnโt serve you? #limitingbeliefs” username=”SusieBarolo”]
For example, what sort of marriage do you believe is possible for you? When I ended my 19-year marriage I told myself Iโd never get married again. Why? Because of what I thought or believed about marriage. What did I believe was possible in marriage? My thoughts and beliefs about what a โgood marriageโ looked like were quite low. The marriage I had, the marriages I saw around me, my parents marriage? There was nothing in my experience that I wanted to duplicate. Yet, here I am in my second marriage, happier and more connected than I ever imagined. How? Because I blasted the belief of what was possible in marriage out of my head. I redefined marriage and choose instead to model whatโs possible in marriage. One of the mantras I repeat most mornings is: I am in the most magnificent relationship of my life and it keeps getting better. I mean why not believe that? I choose to be a vision of whatโs possible: for myself, for my sons, for anyone else whoโs noticing.
What is Possible For You?
Whatever the heck you choose to believe.
Why not fight for the best possible scenario instead of limit myself to past beliefs or experiences?
I invite you to believe whatever the heck you want to believe.
You can believe youโre fantastic no matter what anyone else says.
You can believe that itโs all going to work out wonderfully for you and your kids.
You can believe that your past happened exactly as it was meant to happen.
You can believe that you are smart, amazing, and capable of anything you set your mind to.
If you think you are, you are. If you think you arenโt, you arenโt.ย
If you think itโs not possible for you, itโs not. If you think it is possible for you, it is.
If you think you can, you can. If you think you canโt, you canโt.ย
Our lives are a reflection of the stories we tell ourselves.
What are you telling yourself?
What excuses are you making for yourself that donโt serve you? That donโt help you be your best self?
What can you tell yourself instead?
For help on your journey, pleaseย consider my popularย Happy Habits Program. It is where you learn the 4 habits proven to raise happiness so that you feel better in one week! ย You are not here to merely get through or survive your days. Let me help you thrive. This is a group coaching class that will guide you in discovering your limiting thoughts and blast them out of the water! Join other women who say it is the best gift they’re ever given themselves. I am here and ready to help you, dear warrior. ย
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