Adult friendships and expiration dates. We’ve all heard the quote you are a combination of the five people you interact with most often, we know the importance of the being in fulfilling and uplifting relationships, and most of us know how good it feels to have a friend who supports and inspires us. Yet, why are so many of us feeling lonely, burnt out, or like no one really gets the real us? It’s a combination of things for sure, I’ve spoken of resentment in our marriages, the pressure of our aging parents, the demands of our children. Interestingly, our adult friendships play a big role and today we are looking at that.
If you’re not a listener of my weekly podcast, please take this opportunity to subscribe as in this week’s episode I share a real email I got from a listener and hearing of her personal friendship experience will be helpful. Listen or subscribe here.
Friendship Expiration Dates
Changing friends is a normal part of human development. As we develop, so do our friendships. We understand and expect this with kids. Most of us understand that the friends our kids have in preschool may not be their best buddies at age 46. In other words, we expect that their interests, opinions and values may change from age 4 to 24. It goes without saying that then too would their friendships. Interestingly, we often don’t apply that same logic to ourselves. Have you ever said “we’ve been friends since college” as an excuse for why you feel pressure to return someone’s call? Or, “our kids were in preschool together”? I know I have! Which is why I dove deep into researching this topic.
Learning about Adult Friendship
When’s the last time you took a friendship class or read a book on adult friendships? What were you taught about making or keeping friends? Can you remember any conversations your parents had about friendships? My parents were great in many ways but I can not remember a single conversation about friendship, let alone adult friendships.
Listen in today’s podcast to learn:
- Two factors that are present when friendships form
- How to know if friendships expire (and how to do so peacefully)
- A handy visual that helps me with my adult friendships,
- How our unmanaged friendship thoughts can create a feeling of shame if we move on,
- A new way to look at friendships that won’t leave you feeling betrayed or left out.
- Why judging our “friends” hurts us
- What I’ve seen post COVID in terms of adult behavior
- And much more
Love is always an Option
Consider this podcast a permission slip to let some of your friendships expire today while pouring love on them and on you. Take a look at the friendships that are stressing you out and choose love over judgement. Choose to love your friend for where they are and love yourself for where you’re going.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a community of women dedicated to their self growth and reflection, come try out the midlife membership this month. I specifically made it for women over 40, who have crossed some bridges and choose a path of self discovery over burying their head in the sand. We pour love on each other in there weekly and we’d love to have you join us.
And hey, could you do me a favor and send this to one other warrior today? The friendship target sign has changed many people’s lives and how they feel about the relationships they’re in and if you can be a part of that feel better movement, I’d love it. Thank you. You matter to me dear warrior. Let’s get it this week. Big love