Most of my work is driven by a desire to help us humans live regret-free lives. Lives that when we get to the end of them, we think: Yes! That felt good!
How do we do that? By choosing you and by consciously and intentionally living our days in a way that makes sense to us. People who have high life satisfaction and happiness live their days in alignment with their values. They choose how they’re spending their days in a deliberate way.
Do Not Ignore The Lessons of COVID-19
2020 was a year. there was a lot of fear and discomfort. There were far too many deaths, from Covid and from suicide brought on from the emotional and mental stress of Covid. I am glad it is over yet want to ensure that the lessons it brought for us are not ignored.
COVID-19 pushed our life to a halt. It pushed pause on our busy life of running errands, carpools, social obligations and work requirements. In its pause, it illuminated the life we are truly living. For most, this was an uncomfortable truth to see. It was like looking at bright light without sunglasses. Let’s keep looking. That’s where the growth is. Looking and accepting and moving forward.
What are you doing on a daily basis that’s helpful for you? What are you doing on a daily basis that’s harmful for you?
Choose to live this year for you.
Choose to put yourself and your goals first. What’s the other alternative? Putting yourself and your dreams on the back burner? Setting the model that you don’t matter, for yourself and for those around you? You’ve done that and where does that lead? To the land of bitter and sour. To the land of disappointment. To the land of low confidence. Let’s learn the lesson of 2020 and make this year different. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean disregarding everyone else or turning into some crazed narcissist. It means that you take a stand for you and make yourself a priority in your life. Here are some ways to start:
- Schedule when you’ll check email and social media. Get out of the habit of looking whenever you have a moment to breathe or to distract. Be deliberate about when you’ll check email and social media. No one ever got to the end of their life and said they regret not answering more emails or wishing they had spent more time on Facebook. Nope. Some questions to ask yourself before opening your inbox or social app: What’s your intent? How long do you want to do it for?
- TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS. Turn off notifications. Turn off notifications! Notifications are the she-devil for our days and living a life we love. They intentionally interrupt us and our progress. Take back control with this simple act: Turn off notifications on your phone and computer and anything else that’s beeping and buzzing in your house. Turn. Them. Off. Choose You!
- Turn Goals into Tasks: Break goals into actionable tasks and small steps. Schedule these tasks and steps on your paper schedule for a specific time. For example, if your goal is physical health, write down when you will walk or move your body during that day. Write it down. Yes, it may feel uncomfortable. We are constantly keeping our word to others but letting ourselves down. This is why I run my group coaching, to help you hold yourself accountable. To learn the skill of keeping your word to yourself. This year let’s stop letting ourselves down. Let’s choose us! Write your small steps on the calendar.
- START SMALL We humans are so all or nothing. Cut your goal in half. I know, I know, you’re already resisting because how will you get anywhere. Well, dear warrior, you won’t even get started if it seems too big. You won’t stay consistent if it’s too drastic a change. Say your goal is to get in better shape and your current fitness routine includes sitting on the couch reading about what you should be doing. To put a daily hour long workout on your calendar would be cruel. How about you start doing a 10 second plank while your coffee is brewing? Or you take a walk after dinner? I have some great habit-forming tools for this yet the bottom line is to START SMALL. Cut your goal in half, write it on your paper calendar and go. Create evidence that you’ll do what u say you’ll do.
- Adopt this mantra: “Nothing ever comes up” Refuse to say that to yourself. Be deliberate. Someone texts to meet for lunch? Someone calls with a quick question? Your son wants you to get chicken for dinner instead of fish? Who is in charge? What is in alignment with your future self and how you want to live your life? Choose you. When this sort of thing comes up I use this four-step truth checker before I change my plans:
- If I don’t do it, will it cost me my physical or mental health?
- Will it cost me a relationship with one of my top 10 relationships?
- If I don’t do it, will it cost me my job or a significant amount of money?
- If I don’t do it, will it cost me the future I want to have?
Choose you, dear warrior. Choose to make this your year!
When we say yes to something new, we are saying no to something else. If you’re a woman growing up in society, that probably means you’ve been saying no to yourself. The choices you’ve been making may have led you to say no to your dreams, to your goals, to your health; to your life. Let’s change that. Choose You this year. Your freedom lies in holding yourself accountable to you. Living a regret free life means living your day to day life deliberately and intentionally. Scheduling and writing things down gives me freedom. It used to give me hives. I understand where you are and invite you to make this your year when you put a destination in the GPS for your year.
You all mean way too much to me to see you get to the end of this year feeling like you’ve let yourself down again… and wondering where this year went. This year will pass the way it did last year and the year before that and the year before that unless you choose otherwise.
And if you don’t have a life coach yet, I’d love to be yours. I’d love to support you in ways that can fast track you to that life you love. Yes, you know what to do. But are you doing it? Start with one of these three steps today and your year will be different:
- Sign up to get my weekly newsletter full of free support for you www.smbwell.com/newsletter
- Subscribe to my podcast and commit to listen weekly. The more messaging you give your brain that’s uplifting and supportive, the more uplifted and supported you’ll be. www.smbwell.com/subscribe
- Join the Warrior Women Community on Facebook. I offer free coaching in there and live trainings. facebook.com/groups/smbwell