By the time you read this, I will be living with my soulmate.

I love my life.

Have I always loved my life?
Big laugh.
No. Frigging. Way.
Have I always thought the future held promise?
Big smile.
Abso-Frigging-lutely.

Ever since I can remember, I have believed in the possibility of a future brighter than the present I was currently experiencing. Even when I was living in the unfinished basement of my marital home, even when I was listening to my Dad say he’d write me out of the will if I left a toxic marriage, even when learning that Virginia State considered me property of my husband….even then. I am in charge of my life and my future is up to me. Yes I’ve cried myself to sleep and yes I’ve curled myself in a ball because I was too exhausted and afraid to move. But yes, I’ve also filled my brain with promise. I’ve read countless books, listened to hours of podcasts, spoken to numerous coaches and therapists, and filled journal after journal. Why? Because the future is bright. Because it’s my human responsibility to evolve to the next best version of myself. Life happens for a reason and I am here to learn from those reasons (even if, at the time, I’d rather not live through those reasons!)

In order to create a future brighter than my present, I had to adopt a mindset of growth. I had to drop the perfectionist need to control everything and let life happen. I choose to ask my brain powerful questions and see where the answers take me. I am here to thrive, not merely survive. I thrive when I am taking care of myself, physically, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually. I’ve had people tell me: “You’re so lucky” or “It must be nice” as if I rolled the dice and this is the reality I was dealt. Bull shit. Life is not luck. WE must do the hard work to live a life we love. Our brains are conditioned to do what is comfortable and easy. There are way too many ways to hide in life. Are you stressed? Watch extra TV. Grab a bowl of ice cream. Buy something you don’t need online. Pour a glass of wine. We have made it easy to avoid discomfort and too often we do. I’m here to encourage you to choose to believe that your future can be bigger and brighter than your past.

Think back over history. Did Martin Luther King Jr. have any experience in his past to believe that his dream would come true? If Thomas Edison had looked to the past to see what was possible, we’d still be in the dark. Henry Ford says that if he gave people what they asked for, they’d all have faster horses. We must open our minds to the possibility of a future unlike anything we can imagine and then get to work. 

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right” Henry Ford

Back to the beginning sentence of this blog: “By the time you read this, I will be living with my soulmate.” It’s true. My soulmate, my life partner, my true love is arriving at the airport May 2nd. Nothing in my past would’ve led me to imagine or create my current reality. About a year and a half ago, I got a message on a meditation app from a man on the other side of the world. If I had used my past to guide my actions, I never would have responded to that message. If I had used my past as a guide, I never would have bought my first airline flight to visit a man I had never met, in a country I never planned to visit. Yet I did. I opened my mind, led with my heart, and stepped into my current reality.
Where are you showing up strong in your life?
Where are you hiding? How does that feel?

I’d like to finish this blog by posting the lyrics from Rachel Platten’s song. I sing this to Paul with joy from the mountain top that I feel as if I’m standing on:

It’s a better place since you’ve came along.
Your touch is sunlight through the trees.
Your kisses are the ocean breeze.
Everything’s alright when you’re with me.
It feels like I’ve opened my eyes again,
the colors are golden and bright again.
I see the whole world in your eyes,
it’s like I’ve known you all my life,
I pour my heart into your hands,
it’s like you really understand;
Everything’s alright when you’re with me.
You’re my favorite thing.

Look at your present day experience. How is your past affecting your present? Do you like that?
How would you like your future to be different? What are you doing about that?
It’s a new month. Don’t wait one more minute to craft the life you want to live.

I coach women to be courageous in their lives. These are not always big shifts but shifts that make a big difference. Today is a great day to get started and there are many ways how:

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